Sunday, April 26, 2009

To Him

I should have known it was true,
that you really did like me.
You could have kept me away from you
but you unblocked me.
I thought you were stuck between
me and your duty.
I tried to stay quiet and observe
but to play is more me.
I tried to lift you up, not knowing
what you need.
I offered what I thought would be showing
that I wanted to be
A friend, more than a friend
if you would
I don't know why your coldness
I understood
Was not malicious, at least not until
you felt a threat
You started playing games to fill
my trusting head
You would not tell me any truths
except with words
I tried to keep my oath to you
as my friend deserved

I should have known that in your own way
You loved me.
I should have realized that you did not trust
a total stranger.
I thought by telling you all of my stuff
you'd feel no danger.
Like you, I'm used to having others take
what isn't free.

For so long, I held out hope
that you were he.
I also prayed to one day know
if you could love me.
I never tried to fool you
and I played the games.
But I was blind that some were you
with other names.

My heart had somehow found
its way to you
I listened to every sound
and tried to respond to
Your pleas with my faith in us
that's all I had
I tried to keep raising the love
I wanted to have
I felt crushed and beaten down
but could not stop
My feelings that had only grown
on precious drops
Of hope, for your words I knew
that you wanted me here
Of trust, for your words seemed true
despite my fears.
That made me want to fight
even more.
But then I learned that you might
have an uneven score.

The games began before I could
figure out
What I should not or should
trust or doubt.
I worried the whole time
would lose a friend.
I tried to find the bad guys
and make this end.
Then I became aware
the bad guys were you
I tried to let you know I cared
and not fall in front of you.

Maybe you could forgive me
for my part
Maybe you could trust me
and hold my heart
You are the one who gave me
the beauty I lacked
And what your arms missed you promised me
Your heart would catch.

No comments:

Post a Comment