Snippet from The Misadventures of Super Slut

I guess you think I am all those tools rolled up into one.

Not all of them. Too bad they don't let people your age on Tool Academy. Since we are technically old enough to be grandparents, you could be 'G-Tool.'

'G-Tool?'

You know. Like 'GMILF.'

What's a 'gmilf?'

Ha! It's a grandmother milf!

Oh, no! Ha ha ha ha!

The Misadventures of Super Slut, 3

El Muchacho laughed when Super Slut began telling him of her plan. She knew he would tell it to at least one other person. They would do half of her work for her. His face grew more serious as he realized that she was serious. The only way he would win now was to do what he feared most: let down his walls for her.

If I were an 'other woman' of yours, then this would be about jealousy.

Super, I love you. I don't ever want to be married to anyone else. Only you.

Oh, I know that I am your 'number one.' Without a doubt. This, El, is about my dignity. Or my pride, if you will. You have hurt me a lot over the years.

I've been a real son of a bitch. He repeated himself four or five more times. Super had never called him that. Wait - she had once, but she immediately apologized for disrespecting his mother like that. The fact that he said it meant that he was well aware of how he had treated her for years.

Everyone knows how I messed up. I never denied what I actually did, she scolded. She went through some of his transgressions that she had overlooked. Thong in the waterbed. Like new. Secret messages with her co-spies when she introduced them to El. Leaving her to deal with the Triple Squad at the Satchiton. Backdoor car dealings with The Perve and with Stiletto. Late night rendezvous in Volbino's cab. Updating his secret black book in restaurants and making lame excuses. Courting one of her oldest friends to his side when Super brought her to the house. Suspicious calls and hang ups. The accidental conversation when one woman mistook Super's son for El. Suggestive emails. One with a thought provoking photo. Secret 'communications' over theyears with his ex, Daniela.

Super Slut had not known the code. But she knew other things that had never set well with her. Eye language. Facial expressions. Bodylanguage. Head and hand gestures. Hesitations. Reactions. She knew what did and did not make sense. She knew the difference between respect and disrespect.

Yeah, but guys never want to admit stuff that makes them look bad. Laugh. In fact, we do everything we can to make sure we look good. He did not appear to understand that her pain would not go away if hewas not sincerely regretful and if he continued to hang with TheWickeds. Even more disturbing was that Super realized: El Muchacho is extremely conscience deficient.

Do you think it's possible that I have been doing things, selfish things, that benefit me and that I don't want you to know about?

Yes! I already know this. But every time I think we are past all of your nonsense, I find out you are still plotting with the bad guys.

How are you so sure? Can you prove it? Not this time, El. I am on to you. Every time I tell you how I know something, you use that against me. You get nothing.

El laughed in response.

Besides, she went on, I'm not even tracking you anymore. I've seen enough to know that I can never trust you.

But you can! Just give me more time. You will see.

It was Super's turn to laugh.

Oh my god, you can't be serious! Hell, no, you have had plenty of time.

Sigh. He always sighed big when he wanted to sound important or macho. I'm out. I promise.

Super Slut knew better but was tired of arguing.


Two days later, Super's hope was fading fast. El admitted to secret meetings with Mountain Man when he told her he was working. He forgot that he already told her that - but she did not let on. Patiently, she waited for other apologies to pour forth. They remained padlocked in his conscience-free dome. In her own head, she chided him. You are trying to think of things that wouldn't upset me too, too much. As if I would never pick up on that tactic.

I just need more time, he pleaded. Can't you have a little trust in me? I can be good to you.

You have had years to be good to me.

Guess I failed, she admitted to herself with tears in her eyes. Super hated to fail. Especially when she loved El. Still. And she had tried so hard.

The Misadventures of Super Slut, 2

Super Slut screwed up again. Gave too much info - one of El's 'suggestions.' El Muchacho could have been instructing her in "proper" protocol, as his partner, but he fought her efforts every day. Tried to confuse her by giving advice that only sabotaged her work.

That's it. I can't take anymore. I have tried to deal with him. She finally figured out that he did not communicate on a profound level with anyone. In perpetual mega-denial, he thought he could buffalo her like he 'kind of' used to. He hadn't really, but she let him slide too many times.The Men were a wiser council than El Muchacho hung with. Had he asked for their help? Were they aware of his communication difficulties? Super thought to send them a message. No. It would be intercepted, andEl would only feel threatened.

Super had to get through to him. Or leave. Time was running out. TheWickeds were plotting to block her escape route at the border. El continued to correspond with them. A double agent. No longer pissed,she had ceased to track his every move. She did not care about the others. They were doing nothing illegal as far as she could determine. Only El mattered.

She was hurt that other women, mostly lesser superheroes, knew things about El Muchacho that she did not. He knew everything about her. El is so thick-headed! Super Slut was normally very forgiving, but this was such a tremendous blow to her pride. She was a superhero, but she was also his wife. With feelings. Asshole.

El had tried to control her. She figured out that he had passed much information about her activities to The Wickeds. Super Slut also realized two rather hard-to-face facts: one was El Muchacho's gift for acting ignorant and innocent; the other was that she had always been too willing to believe his act. She started to pay more attention to his patterns, expressions (verbal and physical), and to when he did or did not hesitate to speak. She began to notice the types of questions he asked to probe her and grew even more adept at not letting him derail her focus.

Like so many others, El had always underestimated her. It was evident he did not think she would leave him. The part of her that still loved him did not want to. Super Slut decided to go for it on 4th and thirty. Her final play. A sister act.

Super Slut had an incredibly risky plan. Success depended on her sisters. Would they help her try to convince El Muchacho that his defense would not hold up against her ultimate move? If they did not want her to become a dangerous, calculating solo agent, they would side with her against him. If the plan failed, she would lose El. Forever.

The Misadventures of Super Slut

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Super Slut was locked in her bedroom. This was not usually troublesome, but this time she was pent in with El Muchacho. Surely, El Muchacho did not think he would continue to live his secret life while she stayed at home and monitored the electronics. Okay, he probably did.
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