Monday, December 14, 2009
Level the valley
In the open, in full view,
Underneath the mist
Sway dandelion pillows,
Stay springy moss beds;
Cupped petal hammocks
Caress delicate dewdrops
Until sun’s heat reigns.
The valley exposed,
A million faithful blades guard
Her buried secrets.
And then—she trembles.
Violent tremors shudder
Beneath splitting skin.
Heaved upwards a force
Through torn, effaced dirt and rock—
The mountain is born,
To thirstily drink the light,
To bathe in the clouds.
No longer unseen,
No longer invisible,
She rests in his shade.
He plunges her depths,
Descending to hidden dreams,
Leans on her soft strength.
She clings to his side,
Finds joy in his protection.
The two become one.
Valley and mountain
Belong one to each other;
They are each other.
Should the mountain fall,
The valley will yet remain
With him inside her.
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
How is that similar and dissimilar to American slavery? There are similarities and differences, but I don't want for all the opinions to be mine.
If a country gives certain rights to an oppressed people, but the same country denies the same certain rights to citizens, and the decision to do so is religious in its basis,
How is that separation of church and state?
Several years ago, a friend pointed out to me that she had more rights than people who had lost theirs - or voluntarily given them up by committing crimes. But they can obtain a legal marriage.
My point is that it is easier for some to obtain legal privileges such as marriage licenses or driver's licenses than it is for others. I think it's a shame that not everyone deserving can do that.
Friday, December 4, 2009
Sisters, I've been busy and have had little to say. Today I am just airing some thoughts. If you don't fall asleep while reading, that will put a smile on my face. Some thoughts are meant to be humorous, but I realize that I don't always come across that way. I am trying to keep things light, pleasant. But I know I can be boring. Oops. I was just boring. (Closing my mouth...)
Perhaps unemployment is higher in recent years because fewer people are willing to work jobs with honest but less prestigious status than they would prefer. If unemployment is high, then I suspect that many people are drawing unemployment – which pays higher in many cases than were a person to work a “lesser” job. (Work two. I've done it, and I'm alive.) What was that movie about the Depression era golfer and the caddie? American mindset regarding unemployment and benefits has changed since then.
A few immigrants left the country (and have probably returned), but their jobs - the jobs that others don't want - are still available to them. So much for immigrants taking jobs. Okay, there are some exceptions such as construction. 10% of the population (latest unemployment rate) did not lose construction jobs. It would interest me to know how many of their jobs were outsourced since there is much talk of that as well.
People are war weary. But I haven’t forgotten 9/11. Iraq and Al Qaeda are two different things. 9/11 was a tremendous blow not simply due to the thousands of innocent lives lost but also due to the long lasting impacts such as our country’s defense, the economic downturn, questions about what it means to be an American.
9/11 stands for September 11th. September is the seventh month in some countries.
A lot of people argue Obama hasn’t accomplished everything he set out to do, although he still has 3 more years to complete his goals. The President is not a dictator. He has a Congressional "wife" with whom he shares power. (I threw that out in hopes that it reads with slight humor, but it will probably land like a brick.)
The chosen body (Congress) has a tremendous task of representing their constituents, supporting the Commander-In-Chief, and keeping their jobs. I do not envy them.
Saddam Hussein was an evil dictator. He was also a check against Iran.
In the late 90s, I received an email about the deplorable treatment of women in Afghanistan. Husbands there are often powerless to help their own wives, daughters, mothers, sisters. For decades, there has been the debate about whether the U.S. should be the “police” of the world. Maybe it depends. Maybe we should ask survivors from Rwanda or Croatia. A few years ago, I worked with two people of different faiths who were not allowed to congregate with each other in their home country.
Whenever, wherever soldiers are sent, their well-being should be considered first.
Sarah Palin did not win the election for the Republican Party. However, the Democratic win was not a landslide. I wonder at the manner in which her comment about seeing Russia from Alaska was picked apart. Many people say it was dumb. I equate it to Bush Sr.’s comment about supermarket prices – not in sync with the forefront of public opinion. The “follied” Alaskan purchase was later dubbed wise during the Cold War. Its abundance of natural resources makes it valuable. Had it not the wealth under the ice, would we cede it to Canada, Russia or to another country? There are trees between our house and the neighbors. The neighbors are where I can see them. But there is the buffer. Land is still land.
Hillary is still #1. [Lest anyone think I am tossing her for Palin... =)]
Growing up, I heard some adults say they did not like seeing black and white people married. How many young people know that interracial marriage was against the law in several states as late as my lifetime? There were people who disapproved of my mother’s marriage to a Hispanic. And contrary to large scale denial, many people continue to think that “races” (I use the term loosely) should not mix. I hear the same things being said today about gay people. Denying their rights to get married is no different than slaves having jump to the broom to do what was in their hearts and souls. (Slave marriages were not recognized by the law.) It seems the only argument against gay marriage that op”posers” can come up with are religious in nature. And a few people have tried to show me in the Bible where interracial marriage is a sin, too. Whatever. Science is showing us that women can have Y chromosomes and other stuff. (Sounds real educated, huh? I know when I shouldn't try to use scientific terminology!) Galileo had to "take it back" on pain of torture and/or death when he said that the sun was the center of the solar system. The argument doesn't hold water. To the debaters, how many times has it been stated that God does not make mistakes? 2010 is almost here. Gay people deserve to be as miserable as all the other married people. (Which comedian said that?) Equal status for all taxpaying, law abiding, country serving citizens.
Laws against oral sex and sodomy are still “on the books” in some places. Raise your hand if you are guilty.
Ninja Assassin is a pretty good movie for martial arts fans. I like the director’s choice to shoot fight scenes in shadows where flashes of steel and bodily movement are surprising in their attacks. The heroine’s scenes in the dark with the flashlight were well played. What could have easily been cheesy script dialogue was performed realistically by the actors. I also thought it was cool that the heroine was a gorgeous black woman who had two hot guys defending her. The movie is a good setup for an even better sequel. Oh, and when the actor Rain is doing an exercise demo in his apartment, his sweat pants lowered just enough when he spun to give the best eye tease. Mmm! Perhaps they will consider that for the next movie. This one was good for what was seen but even more for the things not seen.
If you made it this far, dear Sisters, then I appreciate your efforts. Have a fantastic weekend! =)
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
I guess you think I am all those tools rolled up into one.
Not all of them. Too bad they don't let people your age on Tool Academy. Since we are technically old enough to be grandparents, you could be 'G-Tool.'
You know. Like 'GMILF.'
What's a 'gmilf?'
Ha! It's a grandmother milf!
Oh, no! Ha ha ha ha!
El Muchacho laughed when Super Slut began telling him of her plan. She knew he would tell it to at least one other person. They would do half of her work for her. His face grew more serious as he realized that she was serious. The only way he would win now was to do what he feared most: let down his walls for her.
If I were an 'other woman' of yours, then this would be about jealousy.
Super, I love you. I don't ever want to be married to anyone else. Only you.
Oh, I know that I am your 'number one.' Without a doubt. This, El, is about my dignity. Or my pride, if you will. You have hurt me a lot over the years.
I've been a real son of a bitch. He repeated himself four or five more times. Super had never called him that. Wait - she had once, but she immediately apologized for disrespecting his mother like that. The fact that he said it meant that he was well aware of how he had treated her for years.
Everyone knows how I messed up. I never denied what I actually did, she scolded. She went through some of his transgressions that she had overlooked. Thong in the waterbed. Like new. Secret messages with her co-spies when she introduced them to El. Leaving her to deal with the Triple Squad at the Satchiton. Backdoor car dealings with The Perve and with Stiletto. Late night rendezvous in Volbino's cab. Updating his secret black book in restaurants and making lame excuses. Courting one of her oldest friends to his side when Super brought her to the house. Suspicious calls and hang ups. The accidental conversation when one woman mistook Super's son for El. Suggestive emails. One with a thought provoking photo. Secret 'communications' over theyears with his ex, Daniela.
Super Slut had not known the code. But she knew other things that had never set well with her. Eye language. Facial expressions. Bodylanguage. Head and hand gestures. Hesitations. Reactions. She knew what did and did not make sense. She knew the difference between respect and disrespect.
Yeah, but guys never want to admit stuff that makes them look bad. Laugh. In fact, we do everything we can to make sure we look good. He did not appear to understand that her pain would not go away if hewas not sincerely regretful and if he continued to hang with TheWickeds. Even more disturbing was that Super realized: El Muchacho is extremely conscience deficient.
Do you think it's possible that I have been doing things, selfish things, that benefit me and that I don't want you to know about?
Yes! I already know this. But every time I think we are past all of your nonsense, I find out you are still plotting with the bad guys.
How are you so sure? Can you prove it? Not this time, El. I am on to you. Every time I tell you how I know something, you use that against me. You get nothing.
El laughed in response.
Besides, she went on, I'm not even tracking you anymore. I've seen enough to know that I can never trust you.
But you can! Just give me more time. You will see.
It was Super's turn to laugh.
Oh my god, you can't be serious! Hell, no, you have had plenty of time.
Sigh. He always sighed big when he wanted to sound important or macho. I'm out. I promise.
Super Slut knew better but was tired of arguing.
Two days later, Super's hope was fading fast. El admitted to secret meetings with Mountain Man when he told her he was working. He forgot that he already told her that - but she did not let on. Patiently, she waited for other apologies to pour forth. They remained padlocked in his conscience-free dome. In her own head, she chided him. You are trying to think of things that wouldn't upset me too, too much. As if I would never pick up on that tactic.
I just need more time, he pleaded. Can't you have a little trust in me? I can be good to you.
You have had years to be good to me.
Guess I failed, she admitted to herself with tears in her eyes. Super hated to fail. Especially when she loved El. Still. And she had tried so hard.
Super Slut screwed up again. Gave too much info - one of El's 'suggestions.' El Muchacho could have been instructing her in "proper" protocol, as his partner, but he fought her efforts every day. Tried to confuse her by giving advice that only sabotaged her work.
That's it. I can't take anymore. I have tried to deal with him. She finally figured out that he did not communicate on a profound level with anyone. In perpetual mega-denial, he thought he could buffalo her like he 'kind of' used to. He hadn't really, but she let him slide too many times.The Men were a wiser council than El Muchacho hung with. Had he asked for their help? Were they aware of his communication difficulties? Super thought to send them a message. No. It would be intercepted, andEl would only feel threatened.
Super had to get through to him. Or leave. Time was running out. TheWickeds were plotting to block her escape route at the border. El continued to correspond with them. A double agent. No longer pissed,she had ceased to track his every move. She did not care about the others. They were doing nothing illegal as far as she could determine. Only El mattered.
She was hurt that other women, mostly lesser superheroes, knew things about El Muchacho that she did not. He knew everything about her. El is so thick-headed! Super Slut was normally very forgiving, but this was such a tremendous blow to her pride. She was a superhero, but she was also his wife. With feelings. Asshole.
El had tried to control her. She figured out that he had passed much information about her activities to The Wickeds. Super Slut also realized two rather hard-to-face facts: one was El Muchacho's gift for acting ignorant and innocent; the other was that she had always been too willing to believe his act. She started to pay more attention to his patterns, expressions (verbal and physical), and to when he did or did not hesitate to speak. She began to notice the types of questions he asked to probe her and grew even more adept at not letting him derail her focus.
Like so many others, El had always underestimated her. It was evident he did not think she would leave him. The part of her that still loved him did not want to. Super Slut decided to go for it on 4th and thirty. Her final play. A sister act.
Super Slut had an incredibly risky plan. Success depended on her sisters. Would they help her try to convince El Muchacho that his defense would not hold up against her ultimate move? If they did not want her to become a dangerous, calculating solo agent, they would side with her against him. If the plan failed, she would lose El. Forever.
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Sisters, I think I word-for-word stole a phrase or a sentence from Joel Stein or someone else who writes for Time magazine. Or I had another weird dream. For some reason, what I wrote about Obama being 'calm, cool, and collected while the rest of us would be twitching' sounds too familiar. This has been on my mind all night, so I have to try to find the article in question (I'm pretty sure it exists). And I am going to make the proper citations and notations in my post.
**Okay, I could not find the article, but I will continue to look. What may have happened - and I realized this as I began an internet search - is that many people have referred to Obama as 'calm, cool, and collected.' I decided to republish the post with the intent of citing if I find that I have indeed plagiarized.
Since I am here, I want to say 'kudos' to Pepsi for apologizing. Someone forgot to think whether he would like guys sharing info on how to score with his daughter (or mother, sister, aunt, etc.). What a concept! Men sharing information so that certain ones could hook up with particular women.
I know this happens all the time. I do not think it is right. Women should have just as much information as the men. They should realize that men actually set up 'games' where they do things like this. All the time. (Big, giant hint!)
Yes, of course, it is easier to pick up (and manipulate) women when men have access to a lot of information about their likes/dislikes, hobbies/activities to avoid, emotional needs/what makes them tick. They learn to say the right things. AND men can fake the right personality long enough to score.
So thanks a million, Pepsi, for bringing this topic to the forefront of news space and for enlightening us all.
Saturday, October 17, 2009
***NOTE: I need to check a source.
Sisters, be warned before you start to read. I have held my political tongue for a few weeks. Just wanted to express my thoughts. Feel free, as always, to disagree. I appreciate in advance if you do read, and I don't hold it against you if you don't, lol.
Politics can be very ugly. I've been reading the positive and negative press about Obama. A few days ago, I expressed to a sister that I thought Hillary could be doing better than Obama is. But then I admitted that I am biased in favor of Hillary and that Obama was doing a good job considering all the hardships and drama he inherited. I liked McCain, too, bought books about all three of them during the campaign. Thought the country had some pretty good choices. I would say the same about them today.
A playback (in my mind) of Hillary and Obama during a debate made me think about the country's situation(s) during the campaign and about how I was contemplating my choice. Hillary was openly receptive to the idea of running with Obama. He was good enough for her then, and she is on his team now.
Anyone doing the job is going to be criticized. I do wish the Katrina issue could come to conclusion yesterday. But I don't know what mess he has to untangle. Bush took a lot of heat for that one, too. It seems that if Congress can pass measures that allowed the Iraq invasion, then something could be done about this.
I am proud the health care bill was finally passed. People who gripe never had to pay for insurance out of their checks a year in advance and then be eligible. I've had jobs where I had to pay before I was eligible. In jobs where turnover is high, newer employees help with the costs of older employees' health care benefits. Chances are, the same employees won't be around by the time they are eligible. The businesses win.
One might quip "Then they should not quit their jobs." Medical issues are the reason many people have to quit. It is difficult to receive much assistance when you have a job. This has also happened to me. A government run operation could not help me and my children after my divorce "because you already have a job," they told me. I kept working. But I had to make some tough choices.
A lot of people complain about other things they have to pay for, like public education. Why must we all pay taxes? If having an educated society were not important, then we would not have No Child Left Behind. Our education system would not be compared with that of other countries' systems. It is important.
Some states require everyone to pay for car insurance. There is a reason for that. If your car is wrecked and the other person cannot afford it, someone's insurance will pay for it. Well, the people who want to could pay for insurance. But some persons thought that if they must pay for it, then everyone must pay for it.
Benefits to society should not exclude stakeholders. When it comes to health insurance, everyone is a stakeholder. It costs money when people are sick. People who work over or come in early to cover someone else's shift earn time and a half. People who cannot pay the medical bills can receive assistance - that comes from local, state or federal money - that comes from taxes. Drugs to treat probably cost more than preventative care. And sick people who would rather pay their light bill or buy food than see a doctor may spread their germs to the rest of us.
If the healthcare plan is not perfect, and it won't be, then it can be altered. I feel a lot better about spending money on this than on bailing out big business executives who put extra bonus cash in their pockets. Hey, maybe a few of those dollars came from my paycheck. From my kids' paychecks. What can I do? The government taketh from the workers and giveth to moochers of all social classes. I am pleased that everyone will have access to healthcare insurance.
Obama. I am not unhappy with him yet. Hillary will always be my hero. I wish I could know what it would be like with her as president. I wish I could know how McCain would be as president. They're both ass kickers. I suspect Obama is an ass kicker - but he has a higher boiling point than most of us. So I wonder if that is the problem many people have with him, that he manages to remain cool, calm, and collected when the rest of us are twitching a little bit.***
Many people liked (during the campaign) Obama's coolness because he seemed so opposite W. He (W) wanted to dive into something and get it done. Sometimes that desire to accomplish worked. When it didn't, it wasn't pretty. Now that Obama is in office, it is as though many people are afraid to calm down and be patient. I thought about the list of problems he faced when he was sworn in less than a year ago. I would not have known where to start. In fact, he tried to tackle several issues at once. And some said outright that Obama was trying to do too much at once. That it was too early in his presidency. Can you imagine if he had listened to them?
Like I said, my stomach cramps and my face cringes when I think of Katrina. That has been embarrassing, and I feel for anyone still in need over it. The Nobel is extremely psychologically intriguing. Gay rights are not coming fast enough anywhere. That is not Obama's fault. Closed-mindedness is more pervasive and harder to treat than swine flu.
Obama is doing a decent job. Only the one complaint. Katrina. Oh, two complaints. $ for big business execs. The positive - foreign diplomacy, healthcare, morale, economic upswing - outweighs the negative. Besides, Hillary is working with him. That is good enough for me.
OMG, Robin Williams was more than worth the money and the wait. My abs got a nice workout, 90 minutes of nonstop laughter. (I should attend a comedy show every night. Nothing else is working for my abs!) But the show was awesome, and I doubt I was the only person who noted that Mr. Williams worked his butt off to keep giving 100% plus toward the end. Thanks, dude!
Laughter is a cool gift to give to others. I am not very funny on purpose. Most of the time when I am funny, it is completely accidental. At my old job, my trainees used to laugh at me every day for the mistakes I made, and that was fine. My dad nicknamed me "Grace," a name that still signifies my lack thereof.
I have worked with a few people with the gift of being humorous, and I have always thought "I'm glad they're here." When they're not around, everyone notices. They are missed. And the rest of us usually end up talking about them and laughing about "what she would have said!" So to all the funny people I've worked with, thanks.
One of my brothers is so funny it hurts. I used to beg him to 'talk to me' - I meant 'entertain me' -- while I washed the dishes. It never occurred to me until now that he enjoyed having a willing audience. On a good run, I've just about peed my pants listening to him. I couldn't stand that he could get out of so much trouble by making our parents laugh. If I could have done the same, lol.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Super Slut was locked in her bedroom. This was not usually troublesome, but this time she was pent in with El Muchacho. Surely, El Muchacho did not think he would continue to live his secret life while she stayed at home and monitored the electronics. Okay, he probably did.
Dress her up
She's still a slut
Slips from your thumb
She leaves her mark
Makes you bleed
Makes you hurt
Makes you want
Her sexy butt
You want a game
Without the work
You shove your hands
Inside her skirt
Like that, she's gone
You stupid jerk
You assumed she was
A desperate slut
Red and yellow paper cut
Opens the skin
You slide in
Sits an unfamiliar slut
Lips and nips you want to suck
Vacillate orbs to hide in
Hidden gilded locked up trunk
The key was there you saw it glimmer
Silver tongues cast shadows dimmer
You were so close and so blind
You could not touch
Gave not enough
The key remains another's to find
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Paint a smile for me,
Paint a smile on my heart,
Make it sing until the last sunset fades
over an ocean that calls its last farewell.
Trace forever across my cheek,
Trace eternity on my lips
With a touch that knows no sorrow
and leaves me breathless for tomorrow.
Hold me long enough to make me remember
how it feels to know that I will always be loved,
to know certainty.
Don't let me go,
Don't let me fall,
Don't let me push you away when I need you most,
even if I tell you it's what I want cause I lie to be strong.
I learn everything
I need to learn
By trial and error.
And it fucking burns.
But I get it.
You still don't get it.
This has been going on
too long -- I let it.
Now you know
I will go,
I will leave.
I don't believe.
You left me behind
And I knew you would.
on the back of your hand.
I'm no fool.
Been ahead of you,
Waiting for you,
Told you what I'd do
to see what you'd do,
I see how you react,
Show me what you do.
Your true colors
I see them clearly
after clouds roll by.
I see you want it your way,
I see you want me your way,
And you think I don't have
I think you don't have
There is no faith,
trust is gone.
These things you admitted,
you know I've known.
We both find some things
hard to let go,
hard to let go.
And you know me,
but you don't see
Your ways have killed
Your ways will always kill
Your ways may work
on someone else,
but I am not
I never have been,
Will never be
But you can't stop
like I am not me,
but someone else.
I am the one
who knows you,
the one who has
lived with you,
who knows the things
no one else knows,
how you drift
when attention blows.
How you love
when attention blows.
You're a semi-expert
at the game,
but I find you
just the same.
You've always been
You will never
I drew you in
by your fears,
as you've drawn me
with zirconia tears.
Now I know
what I need to know.
As long as I stay,
you will haunt my every day,
And you will have
like you've had awhile.
You won't have my smile.
You will have none of me.
Not like this.
I am not made for this.
You do not deserve my kiss.
You cannot have me,
You cannot have me,
I cannot pretend,
I cannot be
Ignorant - I was never blind,
Nor lacking in mind.
I knew then
What I needed to know,
But I loved you, couldn't go.
Now I know
You believe I'll go,
I know that your knowledge
Does not change what you don't show.
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Sorry, Sisters, but I have to offer my opinion on something. Feel free to let me know what you think. I promise I don't mind if you disagree.
Women who want to blame a married (or engaged or otherwise taken) man for animosity among women in the workplace should stop and think: "Could I really look his wife in the eyes and tell her how it was all his fault that I slept with her husband?"
It takes a lot of balls to stand up in front of everyone and say "I did something wrong."
And it feels better than letting others control you with the wrong thing that you did.
I try not to play the victim. If I think a situation is unfair, I try to do something about it. Take appropriate action. Make plans.
Don't be afraid of what people might think if they find out you aren't perfect, that you made a mistake. Learn from it.
As for justice, it isn't always served. But addressing a situation may prevent it from happening again to someone else. I suppose there is some form of justice in that.
Women should stick together more often. The same things they say about each other "She has slept with everyone!" could be said of him instead -- "You don't want him, girfriend! He has slept with everyone!"
Too many men realize that women are insecure and jealous and, therefore, easily pitted against one another. And some women are simply so insecure that they cannot be stopped from going after other women who they believe threaten their status. This is crap. Let's take some lessons from the guys. They stick together often enough. Just a thought...
WARNING: Mr. Williams says 'f___' more times in this clip than some people actually do it in a year.
Okay, I decided not to post the link to the youtube 'History of Golf/Robin Williams' video. My sisters follow my blog. They don't like to hear 'f___.'
I am excited about the upcoming event. =) I would like to post links - but I won't. His best stuff is beautifully and intricately laced with common and sophisticated language unsuitable for delicate ears. Of course, mine do not qualify as 'delicate.'
Anyone who wants can hear his stuff on youtube. I was laughing at his and Jim Carrey's videos a week or two ago. Love to laugh!
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Monday, October 5, 2009
Sigh. Pirates should never marry, he admonished himself, yet he had. And she knew that his new shipmates had gotten him into the kind of trouble his old ones never had. How was he to continue sailing the seas with them now? If he continued, she would certainly leave him. She was already packing, just in case she caught him looking at his treasure maps again. Several times, she had asked to go with him, but he had told her 'no.' Some other pirates brought their women occasionally, and it was always awkward to have females aboard the ship.
It was a tough decision for him to make. He was trying to hang onto both of his worlds. He needed her, of this he was certain. But his mates! They were fun, adventurous, exciting! And they took all of his time and attention. He had little left to spend on her. That is why she had been threatening to leave him for more than three years.
Just threats, he had thought. Then she began behaving as though she were no longer married - like he had been doing. He hoped slight effort on his part would fix everything. Sadly, he had continued to carry out misdeeds (and thought she would not notice) and failed to put forth even the slightest effort much of the time.
Now she was packing. And not just her clothes this time. She was packing trinkets, baubles, dishes even! A few paintings she had collected would go, too. She was selling other items for which she had no use. The enormity of goods I would have to deal with is one of the excuses I've had for not leaving, she told him, so I will have one less excuse.
Money, he knew, was another excuse, as was her naivete. Why, she will be taken advantage of! She knows hardly anything about how the world works! Damn! What is a pirate to do? He swore again and banged his fist on the table in exasperation. The commotion startled the parrot who flapped his wings against the wooden bars of the cage and squawked in a tremendous shrieking mock "What is a pirate to do? Damn!"
Friday, October 2, 2009
These are just poems, nothing else. Just poems.
how neither of us like to fight,
but you always say
you fight because you love me,
or you would stand back,
let me go
like you let her go,
but you love me,
so you fight yourself,
the things you know that I know,
the life you don't want me to know,
because you love me...
You hide, I flaunt,
I chase, you taunt,
My open book, your deception
Leave us both to want.
We are only ours to lose,
Each day we choose
Not peace, but our weapon,
Never achieving more than truce.
What do you give me but reminders
that I was not good enough,
better than anything you ever had,
that you deserve better,
when all I ever hear is
Don't leave me,
I love you
More than I have ever loved anyone.
I need you.
Give me one more chance.
I must love you
More than I have ever loved anyone,
because I know you,
and I keep on giving you
One more chance.
Jealous of me, you explained
why you beat me so...
When I know others whose inner beings
I long for them,
they give me reason to aspire,
Not more reason to self-hate.
Never asked you to not be
Just to stop giving it all away,
leaving no food for me
You behave as though I
lack the right
To point out our deficiencies,
As though my belief
in your potential,
my attempts to fight
You refuse to see
The man in your mirror,
an adolescent mirage.
You still see who you wish to see.
For my efforts,
You spit on me,
You ensure your fantasy image
At our expense.
Your selfish pretense.
I dance to the rhythm
Of the turning world.
As grey morning
A golden day,
A harp is born along the wall;
It's strings lengthen
Until a midday crescendo,
Then slowly fade
Into a lullaby.
Pulls out her harp,
Sleeping colors awaken
To golden melodies
Your tentative question,
Can she crawl under my blanket?
She did come to see me...
A bewildered 'no' floats from my lips
And lands a puzzle on your face.
Am I to forget she was also there
to tell you where she was buying
the men's shirts?
Played her music so loud,
As if I were tone deaf.
I tried to be,
Said proudly, like a blushing bride,
That we had renewed our vows.
All one motion,
hands slapped her lap as she stood;
I had not meant to slap her face.
She decreed you buy yourself
"A paper Burger King crown
and a matching tiara for _____."
Said my name,
gestured a nod in my direction,
As if I were blind...
A crystal tear 'no' escaped my heart,
colllided with your wall.
Your lying lips agreed,
My other friends
under the same bus.
I want to throw myself
under there, too,
find some peace
from your double dealings.
into begging for your love
and believing your stories?
Would you strip me and beat me?
Would you laugh while I struggled
to rise from my fall?
Would you push me back down
when I tried to get up?
you made on the bridge?
Would you rather save yourself
from the truth
than save us?
The body is willing.
Love versus hate versus apathy
revolve in a deadly bitter triangle.
You cannot give,
I cannot leave,
So we grieve.
too much to face the truth.
For glimpses of your love,
You make me Laugh.
I love You.
and I'm Horny.