Dedicated to My Sisters

1.

Why do women tell stories?

With each pinch of salt, she tells

a flavor of life,

With each stitch on a quilt, she threads

the old with the young,

Each lock of hair tucked tenderly in an envelope reminds

that time waits for nothing.

The stories are to remember everything

we should never forget.


2.

My name is Joan. Do not forget.

My name is Anastasia. Do not forget.

My name is Harriet. Do not forget.

My name is Hypatia. Do not forget.

My name is Rosa. Do not forget.

My name is Anne. Do not forget.

My name is Nicole. Do not forget.

My name is Elizabeth. Do not forget.

My name is Amelia. Do not forget.

My name is Sally. Do not forget.

My name is Cleopatra. Do not forget.

When I am called 'whore' and worse, remember that is usually the first way others try to degrade a woman's character.

When it is said that I was disobedient and unruly, remember that the men try to make the rules different for women.

When I am forgotten, someone will eventually remember.

Stuff That Would Bore My Sister, 16

Sisters, I've been busy and have had little to say. Today I am just airing some thoughts. If you don't fall asleep while reading, that will put a smile on my face. Some thoughts are meant to be humorous, but I realize that I don't always come across that way. I am trying to keep things light, pleasant. But I know I can be boring. Oops. I was just boring. (Closing my mouth...)

Perhaps unemployment is higher in recent years because fewer people are willing to work jobs with honest but less prestigious status than they would prefer. If unemployment is high, then I suspect that many people are drawing unemployment – which pays higher in many cases than were a person to work a “lesser” job. (Work two. I've done it, and I'm alive.) What was that movie about the Depression era golfer and the caddie? American mindset regarding unemployment and benefits has changed since then.

A few immigrants left the country (and have probably returned), but their jobs - the jobs that others don't want - are still available to them. So much for immigrants taking jobs. Okay, there are some exceptions such as construction. 10% of the population (latest unemployment rate) did not lose construction jobs. It would interest me to know how many of their jobs were outsourced since there is much talk of that as well.

People are war weary. But I haven’t forgotten 9/11. Iraq and Al Qaeda are two different things. 9/11 was a tremendous blow not simply due to the thousands of innocent lives lost but also due to the long lasting impacts such as our country’s defense, the economic downturn, questions about what it means to be an American.

9/11 stands for September 11th. September is the seventh month in some countries.

A lot of people argue Obama hasn’t accomplished everything he set out to do, although he still has 3 more years to complete his goals. The President is not a dictator. He has a Congressional "wife" with whom he shares power. (I threw that out in hopes that it reads with slight humor, but it will probably land like a brick.)

The chosen body (Congress) has a tremendous task of representing their constituents, supporting the Commander-In-Chief, and keeping their jobs. I do not envy them.

Saddam Hussein was an evil dictator. He was also a check against Iran.

In the late 90s, I received an email about the deplorable treatment of women in Afghanistan. Husbands there are often powerless to help their own wives, daughters, mothers, sisters. For decades, there has been the debate about whether the U.S. should be the “police” of the world. Maybe it depends. Maybe we should ask survivors from Rwanda or Croatia. A few years ago, I worked with two people of different faiths who were not allowed to congregate with each other in their home country.

Whenever, wherever soldiers are sent, their well-being should be considered first.

Sarah Palin did not win the election for the Republican Party. However, the Democratic win was not a landslide. I wonder at the manner in which her comment about seeing Russia from Alaska was picked apart. Many people say it was dumb. I equate it to Bush Sr.’s comment about supermarket prices – not in sync with the forefront of public opinion. The “follied” Alaskan purchase was later dubbed wise during the Cold War. Its abundance of natural resources makes it valuable. Had it not the wealth under the ice, would we cede it to Canada, Russia or to another country? There are trees between our house and the neighbors. The neighbors are where I can see them. But there is the buffer. Land is still land.

Hillary is still #1. [Lest anyone think I am tossing her for Palin... =)]

Growing up, I heard some adults say they did not like seeing black and white people married. How many young people know that interracial marriage was against the law in several states as late as my lifetime? There were people who disapproved of my mother’s marriage to a Hispanic. And contrary to large scale denial, many people continue to think that “races” (I use the term loosely) should not mix. I hear the same things being said today about gay people. Denying their rights to get married is no different than slaves having jump to the broom to do what was in their hearts and souls. (Slave marriages were not recognized by the law.) It seems the only argument against gay marriage that op”posers” can come up with are religious in nature. And a few people have tried to show me in the Bible where interracial marriage is a sin, too. Whatever. Science is showing us that women can have Y chromosomes and other stuff. (Sounds real educated, huh? I know when I shouldn't try to use scientific terminology!) Galileo had to "take it back" on pain of torture and/or death when he said that the sun was the center of the solar system. The argument doesn't hold water. To the debaters, how many times has it been stated that God does not make mistakes? 2010 is almost here. Gay people deserve to be as miserable as all the other married people. (Which comedian said that?) Equal status for all taxpaying, law abiding, country serving citizens.

Laws against oral sex and sodomy are still “on the books” in some places. Raise your hand if you are guilty.

Ninja Assassin is a pretty good movie for martial arts fans. I like the director’s choice to shoot fight scenes in shadows where flashes of steel and bodily movement are surprising in their attacks. The heroine’s scenes in the dark with the flashlight were well played. What could have easily been cheesy script dialogue was performed realistically by the actors. I also thought it was cool that the heroine was a gorgeous black woman who had two hot guys defending her. The movie is a good setup for an even better sequel. Oh, and when the actor Rain is doing an exercise demo in his apartment, his sweat pants lowered just enough when he spun to give the best eye tease. Mmm! Perhaps they will consider that for the next movie. This one was good for what was seen but even more for the things not seen.

If you made it this far, dear Sisters, then I appreciate your efforts. Have a fantastic weekend! =)

Stuff That Would Bore My Sisters, 15

Sisters, I think I word-for-word stole a phrase or a sentence from Joel Stein or someone else who writes for Time magazine. Or I had another weird dream. For some reason, what I wrote about Obama being 'calm, cool, and collected while the rest of us would be twitching' sounds too familiar. This has been on my mind all night, so I have to try to find the article in question (I'm pretty sure it exists). And I am going to make the proper citations and notations in my post.

**Okay, I could not find the article, but I will continue to look. What may have happened - and I realized this as I began an internet search - is that many people have referred to Obama as 'calm, cool, and collected.' I decided to republish the post with the intent of citing if I find that I have indeed plagiarized.

Since I am here, I want to say 'kudos' to Pepsi for apologizing. Someone forgot to think whether he would like guys sharing info on how to score with his daughter (or mother, sister, aunt, etc.). What a concept! Men sharing information so that certain ones could hook up with particular women.

http://www.blogher.com/pepsi-apologizes-amp-energy-drink-iphone-app-scoring-women

http://blog.taragana.com/n/pepsicos-iphone-app-for-amp-energy-draws-online-ire-for-stereotyping-women-195956/

http://www.brandchannel.com/home/post/2009/10/14/Pepsis-iPhone-App-Offering-Dating-Advice-To-Men-Causes-Controversy.aspx



I know this happens all the time. I do not think it is right. Women should have just as much information as the men. They should realize that men actually set up 'games' where they do things like this. All the time. (Big, giant hint!)

Yes, of course, it is easier to pick up (and manipulate) women when men have access to a lot of information about their likes/dislikes, hobbies/activities to avoid, emotional needs/what makes them tick. They learn to say the right things. AND men can fake the right personality long enough to score.

So thanks a million, Pepsi, for bringing this topic to the forefront of news space and for enlightening us all.

Stuff That Would Bore My Sisters, 14

***NOTE: I need to check a source.


Sisters, be warned before you start to read. I have held my political tongue for a few weeks. Just wanted to express my thoughts. Feel free, as always, to disagree. I appreciate in advance if you do read, and I don't hold it against you if you don't, lol.

Politics can be very ugly. I've been reading the positive and negative press about Obama. A few days ago, I expressed to a sister that I thought Hillary could be doing better than Obama is. But then I admitted that I am biased in favor of Hillary and that Obama was doing a good job considering all the hardships and drama he inherited. I liked McCain, too, bought books about all three of them during the campaign. Thought the country had some pretty good choices. I would say the same about them today.

A playback (in my mind) of Hillary and Obama during a debate made me think about the country's situation(s) during the campaign and about how I was contemplating my choice. Hillary was openly receptive to the idea of running with Obama. He was good enough for her then, and she is on his team now.

Anyone doing the job is going to be criticized. I do wish the Katrina issue could come to conclusion yesterday. But I don't know what mess he has to untangle. Bush took a lot of heat for that one, too. It seems that if Congress can pass measures that allowed the Iraq invasion, then something could be done about this.

I am proud the health care bill was finally passed. People who gripe never had to pay for insurance out of their checks a year in advance and then be eligible. I've had jobs where I had to pay before I was eligible. In jobs where turnover is high, newer employees help with the costs of older employees' health care benefits. Chances are, the same employees won't be around by the time they are eligible. The businesses win.

One might quip "Then they should not quit their jobs." Medical issues are the reason many people have to quit. It is difficult to receive much assistance when you have a job. This has also happened to me. A government run operation could not help me and my children after my divorce "because you already have a job," they told me. I kept working. But I had to make some tough choices.

A lot of people complain about other things they have to pay for, like public education. Why must we all pay taxes? If having an educated society were not important, then we would not have No Child Left Behind. Our education system would not be compared with that of other countries' systems. It is important.

Some states require everyone to pay for car insurance. There is a reason for that. If your car is wrecked and the other person cannot afford it, someone's insurance will pay for it. Well, the people who want to could pay for insurance. But some persons thought that if they must pay for it, then everyone must pay for it.

Benefits to society should not exclude stakeholders. When it comes to health insurance, everyone is a stakeholder. It costs money when people are sick. People who work over or come in early to cover someone else's shift earn time and a half. People who cannot pay the medical bills can receive assistance - that comes from local, state or federal money - that comes from taxes. Drugs to treat probably cost more than preventative care. And sick people who would rather pay their light bill or buy food than see a doctor may spread their germs to the rest of us.

If the healthcare plan is not perfect, and it won't be, then it can be altered. I feel a lot better about spending money on this than on bailing out big business executives who put extra bonus cash in their pockets. Hey, maybe a few of those dollars came from my paycheck. From my kids' paychecks. What can I do? The government taketh from the workers and giveth to moochers of all social classes. I am pleased that everyone will have access to healthcare insurance.

Obama. I am not unhappy with him yet. Hillary will always be my hero. I wish I could know what it would be like with her as president. I wish I could know how McCain would be as president. They're both ass kickers. I suspect Obama is an ass kicker - but he has a higher boiling point than most of us. So I wonder if that is the problem many people have with him, that he manages to remain cool, calm, and collected when the rest of us are twitching a little bit.***

Many people liked (during the campaign) Obama's coolness because he seemed so opposite W. He (W) wanted to dive into something and get it done. Sometimes that desire to accomplish worked. When it didn't, it wasn't pretty. Now that Obama is in office, it is as though many people are afraid to calm down and be patient. I thought about the list of problems he faced when he was sworn in less than a year ago. I would not have known where to start. In fact, he tried to tackle several issues at once. And some said outright that Obama was trying to do too much at once. That it was too early in his presidency. Can you imagine if he had listened to them?

Like I said, my stomach cramps and my face cringes when I think of Katrina. That has been embarrassing, and I feel for anyone still in need over it. The Nobel is extremely psychologically intriguing. Gay rights are not coming fast enough anywhere. That is not Obama's fault. Closed-mindedness is more pervasive and harder to treat than swine flu.

Obama is doing a decent job. Only the one complaint. Katrina. Oh, two complaints. $ for big business execs. The positive - foreign diplomacy, healthcare, morale, economic upswing - outweighs the negative. Besides, Hillary is working with him. That is good enough for me.

Stuff That Would Bore My Sisters, 13

Sorry, Sisters, but I have to offer my opinion on something. Feel free to let me know what you think. I promise I don't mind if you disagree.

Women who want to blame a married (or engaged or otherwise taken) man for animosity among women in the workplace should stop and think: "Could I really look his wife in the eyes and tell her how it was all his fault that I slept with her husband?"

It takes a lot of balls to stand up in front of everyone and say "I did something wrong."

And it feels better than letting others control you with the wrong thing that you did.

I try not to play the victim. If I think a situation is unfair, I try to do something about it. Take appropriate action. Make plans.

Don't be afraid of what people might think if they find out you aren't perfect, that you made a mistake. Learn from it.

As for justice, it isn't always served. But addressing a situation may prevent it from happening again to someone else. I suppose there is some form of justice in that.

Women should stick together more often. The same things they say about each other "She has slept with everyone!" could be said of him instead -- "You don't want him, girfriend! He has slept with everyone!"

Too many men realize that women are insecure and jealous and, therefore, easily pitted against one another. And some women are simply so insecure that they cannot be stopped from going after other women who they believe threaten their status. This is crap. Let's take some lessons from the guys. They stick together often enough. Just a thought...

Prelude to Robin Williams in Hotlanta!

WARNING: Mr. Williams says 'f___' more times in this clip than some people actually do it in a year.

Okay, I decided not to post the link to the youtube 'History of Golf/Robin Williams' video. My sisters follow my blog. They don't like to hear 'f___.'

I am excited about the upcoming event. =) I would like to post links - but I won't. His best stuff is beautifully and intricately laced with common and sophisticated language unsuitable for delicate ears. Of course, mine do not qualify as 'delicate.'

Anyone who wants can hear his stuff on youtube. I was laughing at his and Jim Carrey's videos a week or two ago. Love to laugh!

Stuff That Would Bore My Sisters, 12

Sorry, Sisters, but you knew I would get back to you sooner or later. The Complete Illustrated Kama Sutra, edited by Lance Dane, is turning out to be one of the most helpful books I've ever read. No, I am not encouraging you to become courtesans, but to learn another perspective on the relationships between men and women and possible interactions with other members of society. Okay, that does not sound right either. I guess, ladies, I am trying to say that the best offense is a good defense. Or at least that is the best place to start.

For this post, I am not going to quote any of the sex stuff, although that is more than interesting. Instead, I chose a paragraph that speaks of the higher thinking that underlies the material and sexual aspects of society. My understanding of the word pleasure, taken in the context of the full paragraph, means a way of life that is pleasurable and has more than a mere sexual connotation.

"A citizen discoursing, neither entirely in the Sanskrit language, nor wholly in the dialect of the region, on various topics in society, obtains great respect. The wise should not resort to a society disliked by the public, or one not governed by any rules, and intent on the destruction of others. In fact a learned man living in a society which acts according to the wishes of the people and which has pleasure as its only object, is highly respected in this world."

Grandmothers, mothers, sisters, aunts,
thank you for wrapping your quilt
around my shoulders,
for remembering I am alive.
When the heart is comforted,
the mind is free to remember
colors of the rainbow,
clouds of hope.
Unconditional love,
a prize no one can steal,
a cure-all for the torn spirit.
Your words have value,
like an eagle they carry me
over mountains, rivers.
I listen and learn.

Stuff That Would Bore My Sisters, 11

Hellfighters, 1968, starring John Wayne and Katherine Ross

Sisters, I learned a lot from this movie about Texas oil well firefighters. One of the most important points was a few minutes into the movie. The leading younger man, Jim Hutton, meets a young lady at the site of the fire. He kisses her without asking before he goes off to fight he fire - barely knows her, btw. On his way back, he smiles to himself then glazes his eyes and looks past her. Pays her no attention, dawdles in the doorway, stumbles in - but leaves the door open. She runs in after him! He knew she would do that. It was a trick. How do I know? I've used it many times on my husband, lol.

Sisters - watch out for open "doors" and "windows" on the internet. If you go, like I did, then make sure you take notes - like I did!

The font is red because the dudes in the movie wore red. I will note that John Wayne portrayed a gentleman, and the Jim Hutton character behaved himself once he married. But they did enjoy putting out fires. I suppose everyone needs a hobby, ha ha. At least they didn't start the fires!

It was no wonder that she stayed confused. The ones who knew her best thought they knew what was best for her. Had she not always come through the hard stuff? Sometimes she did need help, but not for knowing what she wanted. Or didn't want. Her friend Kenni thought that if she did not search for clues, she would be alright. But the clues were coming at her from every direction. The rest of the world was determined she learn. And she did, but not the way any of them ever thought she would. What she learned...

One of the most unfair aspects was that they interfered with her decision to leave her husband. They did not live with Bill. Had no right to judge her. In retrospect, she realized several of the women had perceived her as a threat. I don't backstab my sisters. Ever. Most of them learned that, but by then it was too late. They had no idea that she had uncovered military and government secrets, business world activities they would never imagine, and the blackmail right over their heads. They could not have saved her if they wanted to. That's why all of them were surprised when her ambulance ride turned into something else. It was not what usually happened to new members. While there, she knew she had to learn fast - and by listening. Listening was the hardest way for her to learn. Most conversations seemed mundane to her, and she was skilled at thinking of other things while someone else was speaking to her. Most of the time.

Sometimes people were impossible to ignore. Like the guest motivational speaker who visited their company not long before she made her break. From the moment the woman began her presentation, she knew this was part of the plan to initiate her. Anger, fear, frustration at her co-workers. How was it all possible that people in all of these different places, even different states, were connected? She could not bear to watch the slide show. Wrote in her notebook instead. Tried not to listen, but she heard most of it. Fighting back the tears was the hardest part, but she was not about to let them see her cry if she could help it.

Stuff That Would Bore My Sisters, 10

Yul Brynner in Kings of the Sun, 1963.

Sisters, do you ever question my choice in movies? So do I. Whatever the reason, there is much to be learned from many of them. The older ones are closer to the ideals that I understand, the ideals that seemed important to my grandparents, to my teachers when I was a kid. To my daddy. Daddy also watched all the Elvis movies, but I don't want to go there. I enjoy listening to Elvis. I will leave it at that.

I've seen documentary type shows on the history of movie making. The beginnings and the progression make sense. Kings of the Sun makes sense. A group of Mayans (powerful group of people who lived in Mexico long ago) escape takeover by sailing north across the Gulf of Mexico where they nearly go to war with Plains Native Americans.

The two tribes' leaders fight over a woman. The Mayan king is too chicken to do what makes sense with leading his people and with communicating his feelings to his woman. The Plains chief teaches him a wiser way to lead - and almost steals the dude's woman because he has the spine to tell her how he feels, stand up for her. In the end, they fight together to defeat the ruthless 'evil' tribe that followed the Mayans across the water. The Mayan king learns that the sacrifice of all is enough for 'the gods,' so they don't need to shed innocent blood anymore. Many lessons within.

The newer movies, like The Dark Knight (is that the title of the latest Batman movie?), are good examples of how the ideals of the younger generation are in many ways the same - but a hero is needed, and few people know how to be one. And they are lost, waiting around for someone else to do something instead of looking inside themselves to ask 'how can I be part of the solution?' Maybe they think it has to be someone famous or rich. Nothing wrong with famous or rich heroes, but the rest of us can be, too.

In The Dark Knight movie, I also heard a lot of excuses for people who let themselves be led. Most of the characters had some kind of financial reason for not using their own minds, for not questioning their own judgment or the judgment of the person instructing them. And they didn't seem to notice their own inability to think for themselves.

Or maybe making excuses to just 'go along' has become the socially acceptable thing to do.

Stuff That Would Bore My Sisters, 9

Been watching a movie. Before anyone reads, I am aware that each country has its own bad, un-erasable memories that it must contend with, so please don't think I am picking on countries. I refer only to specific situations, events.

The Rabbit-Proof Fence, which stars Kenneth Branaugh, is a movie I first watched in the theater several years ago. Loved it so much, I bought the book. It's around here somewhere. Based on a true story, Aboriginal children in Australia with European lineage were taken from their families to be assimilated into the financially and politically dominant 'white' culture. Watching it again this afternoon, I felt a connection to the "half caste" girls who ran away from their kidnappers who were "trying to help them."

Don't get caught. The path back to their mothers, grandmothers, sisters, aunts, the path was incredibly difficult. And then, they still had to be careful not to get caught, forced into 'civilization.' In 'civilization,' the darker skinned children, less likely to blend in, were more likely to have jobs of servitude. An unfair situation, to say the least; and, truly, similar to other types of discrimination, such as political or religious beliefs, sexism.

Kenneth Branagh movies always make me think. Another of his movies, Conspiracy Theory, made me think, research - I researched the real people in The Rabbit-Proof Fence, too. One of my favorite things to do after watching a movie or reading a book is to get on the internet and find out as much as I can about the people, the events, the reasons.

Anyway, the Conspiracy movie is about how Hitler's military leaders, concerned for the morale of their soldiers (who did not like firing upon innocent, unarmed people), tried to remove the human element of killing. Their solution was to gas human beings (tricked them into 'taking showers'), and then cremate them.

All copies of the minutes from the meeting were destroyed except for one. For that one, we know the details. One of the details that struck me as horrific was how the men joked about the people turning pink from the gas asphyxiation. The human element was already eliminated from the leaders' minds - most of them. The few who disagreed were either afraid to speak up, or they were eliminated, if they did not escape.

I'm grateful for being alive, for living in the United States. I am proud that we no longer have lynchings here in the South where I live, that we can live and work alongside each other and be from Croatia, from Mexico, from Haiti, from Germany, from India, from anywhere. Well, some of us still have trouble with that, but it takes all of us seeing past the different names - people used to make fun of my Hispanic last name in the small town where I grew up. We have to see past skin color, eye shape; to hear past accents.

However, I am tired of having to defend myself for discussing the shape of my nose, the straightness of my hair (which, until I finally got a short hair cut, has been a curse). I should not be afraid to notice that I don't look like the person next to me. That doesn't make me better or worse, just different. If God wanted me to look like everyone else, then He would have made me that way. I am proud of my heritage.

I don't know all of my heritage, but I also feel the Rabbit girls' affinity to nature. Nature is a beautiful thing. Once, for a college class in fall 2005, I wrote the following Haiku:

Silent, old oak trees
Would have a thousand secrets
To tell if they could.

I have always felt them, with their secrets, hundreds and thousands of years old, passed along from generation to generation. Sometimes, I can almost hear them. And the ground, the grass, the wind, the hills and mountains... the rain. This is why I cannot believe that the way of the world will last forever. In the voice of what has been long before, kind of like "the deeper magic from the dawn of time" (C.S. Lewis, The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe), there is a truth long forgotten by all but a few who are waiting. I'm waiting. And I am ready.

Stuff That Would Bore My Sisters, 8

Sisters, I decided to write about something new, the whole health insurance thing. Here's the deal... I read a book a few years ago called Mountains Beyond Mountains: The Quest of Dr. Paul Farmer. I lent the book to someone a year or so ago, so I had to Google the title.

This real life man could have probably gotten a job anywhere he wanted, but he chose to work in Haiti, at least for a good bit of the year. He is able to provide medical care for some of the poorest people in the world, in part due to wealthy sponsors paying for medicine. Some people he works with, though, have been able to find ways to get medicine cheaper than people like you and I have to pay.

I'm not saying that we should not pay a little more - we aren't as poor as people in some parts of the world - but we pay a lot more. However, it seems to me that if it is going to take all of us pitching in to help pay for healthcare, then the pharmaceutical companies and insurance companies can lower their costs.

A lot of the money they make goes into research for new medicines, but wouldn't we all like to have extra money for this and that? In other words, they would not have to cut peoples' salaries or jobs as much as some of the other stuff that isn't as pending during a recession, like creating sperm from a stem cell. How much did that cost? I mean, isn't there enough viable sperm floating around right now...? *Note: I just reread - that's in the UK (figures); but if they have money to spend on that, and they have public health care... hmmmm....

Sorry about this boring post tonight. Too many friends of mine are having trouble with their medical bills and trying to work out their insurance stuff right now. Times are just hard for everyone, and it seems like this is one problem that could be easily solved. Maybe there is just too much money involved for a few people. It's not me, lol, I'm broke.

Enough, but call me or send an email if you actually read this all the way through, ha! I did miss a call from A., so I am going to call you now. I know, the rest of you, if you made it this far, are relieved I'm finished. =) Oh, one more thing... if we had less trouble paying for the healthcare, that would be more money to spend on other things. Cause you know we aren't good at saving it! Now, I'm finished - for tonight.

Stuff That Would Bore My Sisters, 7

I'm getting better at playing 'Guess Who I Am.' Okay, I have always given information order to get information. I just have to give the right stuff at the right time in order to get what I want (the information). It's like having the right bait to use when angling for a certain type of fish during a certain time of year or even during the day. One of the things I noted from the movie "A River Runs Through It" was that the dad and sons knew that the fish were in different places throughout the day, and so they would use different bait.

Sisters, I am sorry to discuss fisherman with you for two posts in a row, but I just have to get it out.

Also, did you see my brick wall poem? I tried to make it look like a brick wall. When I was 7 or 8, I actually did lay a few bricks with my dad. I rather liked doing that, building a tiny little wall. (Pause for thought) I was just remembering again, but I don't consider myself a mason or anything. I don't see masons anymore, or maybe they work when I am indoors. Masons are good, honest, spiritual people from what I've heard. Wonder what they would think of the way life is in some places.

Stuff That Would Bore My Sisters, 6

You know I watch tv sometimes, and tonight I watched the latest "Deadliest Catch." It's waaaay past time they let the wives come on for more than a kiss and a hug. Yay! They were all gorgeous, of course, and the proposal - wow! For doing that in front of every one, you know that guy can use that in every argument, and what can she say but "Aaaw, I can't stay mad at you."

During the work episode that aired right before the pub segment, I thought about a whole lot of things. I always laugh at the greenhorns for the trouble they get in and for the lack of understanding - I can relate. ;-) Anyway, I do get it that to understand how things go, you just got to be right in the middle of it.

Well, I am learning a lot better how things go. I still don't like the whole business of how all the employers, not just the main interviewer, go over every little detail about a person. Then when the job applicant walks through the door, she thinks it is the same person she spoke with on the phone. After all, he knows stuff, is using the same words... but is it the same person? It feels different somehow. Strange.

Rewritten "Stuff That Would Bore My Sisters, 1, 2 and 3"

Decided to rewrite, improve these posts.

http://poetonaleash.blogspot.com/2009/06/stuff-that-would-bore-my-sisters.html

http://poetonaleash.blogspot.com/2009/06/stuff-that-would-bore-my-sisters-2.html

http://poetonaleash.blogspot.com/2009/06/stuff-that-would-bore-my-sisters-3.html

Stuff That Would Bore My Sisters, 5

I don't want anyone to misunderstand what I wrote about Elizabeth forbidding women and children in the universities. The women and children were not there to receive an education; they were a distraction. With the exception of nobility, women did not influence politics. Some of the men closest to her had wives and families - that were neglected at times for the sake of political affairs, not games. Therein lie two differences between then and now: the first being the formal education and introduction of women into the political arena, and the second being the difference of the men's focus.

I realize that with each attempt to speak to other women about political affairs I am destroying my chances to be part of a group whose current policies I do not approve. So be it. I may never retrieve the things that were stolen from me, save my honor and dignity, but it seems there are more important intrinsic goods at stake.

It is my wish now that all women learn the in's and out's of politics - many of you already know, and I am only jumping in the deep end, but I am in a position to play the outspoken underdog as I do not have to lose, and you have more power to do things that I can never do. My purpose, I suppose, has everything to do with my background, the working class. If I am meant to go back out into that arena and teach there, then I will do that rather than sit back and do nothing.

Some men are afraid of that; yet others believe that women will always wear their hearts on their sleeves, that women can always be made to be jealous of each other - thereby ruining any attempts at unity. So here is the deal: everyone stick with your own men. That is the first step in taking away their fun and in forcing them to focus on more important things than winning bets and racking up head counts.

If men learn how to read women's lit, that is not necessarily a bad thing. A few men already know how, but many do not. It will take them a while to learn. I, and you've read me, I have even been mistaken for a man a time or two, ha ha. Another positive note is that in learning to read women's lit, there should come a greater appreciation and comprehension of women, at least for most men.

Men, I am not trying to be trifling (probably would not be as much had I the proper employment, tsk, tsk). Do you not see that in restoring the political arena to where it should be, you will be better off? We will all be better off.

I have mentioned before that I should need to purchase a new pair or proper work shoes to wait tables. The ratio of men to women is in my favor. I have always told you of my plans before I carry them out. This is no exception. I am not worried as you have failed every time except when you ambushed me, lol. The idea of what I intend is somewhat thrilling as it holds the promise of a greater end.

You know I don't quit. Neither do most other working women - who, btw, make up a large percentage of the work force. Some things nearly all of us have in common: We've all been screwed over by men; We have had few breaks; We are pretty good at taking care of ourselves when we have to; We are a lot smarter than people think we are; We don't quit.

The women who don't have to work can't be too happy with the way things are. I don't want anyone to think they have it made. To the women who have to work, just think of how you might feel when you haven't worked in years, still have young children, and you know all about your man on his business trips and his late night dinners, etc. And many of your friends are in the same situation. So together, you find solace, you endure, you find a way to become comfortable with your situation.

I wrote a couple of research papers about women's roles during times of slavery. The white plantation mistresses actually had fewer rights, many times, and often - though not all the time, of course - suffered greater injustices than even slave women. So please don't judge women by what you think they have or don't have. We should consider a larger picture, as in 'what does any woman have to deal with?'

Having said all of that, I believe that after we all get back to the basics, the original intent of the rules... when we have a greater understanding of how to have a more stable society... when we focus on enlightenment and the restoration of a more civilized population... then we can understand the benefits of such a society... then we can appreciate the advantages of such a society... then we can have peace and security in our society.

Stuff That Would Bore My Sisters, 4

Not quite sure how many "movies" were being made. One was 'the experiment.' Another was 'the love story.' Both backfired.

This whole deal is being done with the language of scripture.

My daughter told me a few weeks ago that a friend said only the New Testament was worth reading. Not true. In fact, JC often spoke of the words of the prophets - Old Testament, of course. Many of my friends and family are churchgoers, claim this and that. I never did before, merely pointed out the hypocrisy... only now I read better.

First chapter I turned to that wasn't already marked - I marked it that moment for posterity - was 2 Kings, Chapters 3 and 4. Chapter 3 is about how Elisha was jeered. Chapter 4 is about how 3 kings get together to put down the bad king. I have wondered about that...

To some, the scriptures are more important. To others, the game. Many people just don't know what to do and go along with whatever helps them the most. I understand that. So skip to the New Testament where JC criticizes the religious leaders for not taking care of the people, for using the letter of the law to oppress the people.

Still not a Christian. Love the life of JC, but as he said, we all have the power to be sons of God - my opinion, he didn't mean just himself, we are all God's children, etc. His is the way, the truth and the life. He spoke to the people in a way that allowed people to become close to God, to be in the light. The people back then weren't allowed into the temple to read the actual scriptures. He let them know the spirit of the laws through his words (In the beginning was the Word, the Light), so they would not be held down and controlled by the Saduccees and Pharisees.

Didn't Martin Luther (not Martin Luther King, Jr.) try to make the scriptures more accessible to people because the religious leaders of his day were using religion to control?

Henry VIII broke with the pope but continued to collect money from the people. His daughter, Mary, used religion to make people afraid. Elizabeth used it to unify her country - but allowed people their private practice as long as they did not disrupt society. She rocked in a lot of ways. She did not like women and children in the universities, a thing I used to wonder about. Now I see what a distraction it is to the men, getting them to think seriously about the state of affairs, about learning, about taking care of business. Many men were so busy thinking about other things in all of this they lost their identity. So many weaknesses have been exposed. Minds haven't been where they should be. And matters of state, learning, taking care of business - that these were pushed to the side, is that a safety issue? Are we like the ancient Romans, so used to having it good that we are, as a nation, undisciplined, spoiled? I think so, at times, yes.

So what is the point of my blog? I don't know. It started out as another trying to say 'Hey, what I did was one thing, but what all of you did should not have to cost me the opportunities I've worked so hard for.' And it still does not have to. Mine can still be fixed.

This post started turning into 'If this happened to me, it can still happen to others, and I am sure has already happened to others, but they must not have been able to stand up for themselves and I want to stand up for everybody.'

Now it is still both of those, but I know that I cannot change anything. I can only keep begging you to change things. I can keep trying to educate you to treat women better, like women not soldiers. I can keep trying to educate women as to how things really still are. I'm no longer living in Whoville (Yeah, I am watching too much tv this weekend, but I can't turn my brain off).

As I learn the rules, I understand the reasons for them - yet... yet I cannot follow them because of the way they are being used. Now is the time for Martin Luther King, Jr. He stressed civil disobedience for the cause of a greater good. There is no good reason for my situation. So I will keep trying to be part of the solution. The solution is not going along with a system that doesn't make sense. I do still have common sense. Do you?

This whole thing bugs me, and not just because of me. It stinks for all kinds of reasons. Mostly for the humanity that too many players lack, but also for the lack of common sense (yes, my goof was a lack of common sense), and for the abundance of religious hypocrisy. To make things better, it is going to take all of us working at it. I need to see it. When I am out, not just here.

If enough people want this, we can make it happen. Rules are good, but they have to be used for the purpose they were made - not for some of the garbage they're being used for. Are so many people content with being led and going along? Reference to Mary Wollstonecraft (see earlier post): I'm not a gentlewoman, been a working woman. Have the benefits of both: masculine education and tenacity. I read you all better and faster than you read me. Textbooks and most novels are written in 'masculine,' so I knew what to look for.

I know some of you were fooled by the picture of a woman and a few references to pms - but those were not in the way a woman would write. Women could take this thing over if we could get together and not be jealous about what tail our men are chasing. How many years until (most of) you can read feminine lit and truly understand it without much thought? By that time, we can use the rules to beat you at your own game. I wonder whether we could take over the world. Now wouldn't that be cool? I really hope they at least consider the idea.

Stuff That Would Bore My Sisters, 3

I purchased A Vindication of the Rights of Woman by Mary Wollstonecraft a while back, but I only recently picked it up again. In the fourth chapter, "The State of Degradation to Which Woman Is Reduced," Wollstonecraft explicitly details man's part in the degradation of women. I found several quotes that are important to me, and I found a website that has the full text (link posted further down).


"...for many innocent girls become the dupes of a sincere, affectionate heart, and still more are, as it may emphatically be termed, ruined before they know the difference between virtue and vice: - and thus prepared by their education for infamy, they become infamous. Asylums and Magdalenes are not the proper remedies for these abuses. It is justice, not charity, that is wanting in the world!" (p. 72)


"Necessity never makes prostitution the business of men's lives: though numberless are the women who are thus rendered systematically vicious. This however, arises, in a great degree, from the state of idleness in which women are educated, who are always taught to look u to man for a maintenance, and to consider their persons as the proper return for his exertions to support." (p.72)


"For, miserable beyond all names of misery is the condition of a being, who could be degraded without its own consent! This excess of strictness I have heard vindicated as a salutary error. I shall answer in the words of Leibnitz - 'Errors are often useful; but it is commonly to remedy other errors.'" (p. 73)


"Most of the evils of life arise from a desire of present enjoyment that outruns itself. The obedience required of women in the marriage state comes under this description; the mind, naturally weakened by depending on authority, never exerts its own powers, and obedient wife is thus rendered a weak indolent mother. Or supposing that this is not always the consequence, a future state of existence is scarcely taken into the reckoning when only negative virtues are cultivated." (p.73)


"Yes, virtue as well as religion, has been subjected to the decisions of taste." (p.73)


"...how eager men are to degrade the sex from whom they pretend to receive the chief pleasure of life... A love of pleasure ow sway sees to divide mankind, and the husband who lords it in his little harem thinks only of his pleasure or his convenience. To such lengths, indeed, does an intemperate love of pleasure carry some prudent men, or worn out libertines, who marry to have a safe bed-fellow, that they seduce their own wives. - Hymen banishes modesty, and chaste love takes its flight." (p. 73)


"Love, considered as an animal appetite, cannot long feed on itself without expiring. and this extinction in its own flame, may be termed the violent death of love. But the wife who has thus been rendered licentious, will probably endeavour to fill the void left by the loss of her husband's attentions; for she cannot contentedly become merely an upper servant after having been treated like a goddess." (p. 73)


"But leaving superior minds to correct themselves, and pay dearly for their experience, it is necessary to observe, that it is not against strong, persevering passions; but romantic wavering feelings that I wish to guard the female heart by exercising the understand: for these paradisaical reveries are oftener the effect of idleness than of a lively fancy." (p. 75)


"... In short, the whole tenour of female education (the education of society0 tends to render the best disposed romantic and inconstant; and the remainder vain and mean. In the present state of society this evil can scarcely be remedied..." (p. 75)


"...but gentlewomen are too indolent to be actively virtuous, and are softened rather than refined by civilization. Indeed the good sense which I have met with, among the poor women who have few advantages of education, and yet have acted heroically, strongly confirmed me in the opinion that trifling employments have rendered woman a trifler. Man, taking her body, the mind is left to rust; so that while physical love enervates man, as being his favourite recreation, he will endeavour to enslave woman: - and who can tell, how many generation may be necessary to give vigour to the virtue and talents of the freed posterity of abject slaves?" (p. 77)


"In tracing the causes that, in my opinion, have degraded woman... to me it appears clear that they all spring from want of understanding... for I shall not lay any great stress on the example of a few women who, from having received a masculine education, have acquired courage and resolution; I only contend that the men who have been placed in similar situation, have acquired a similar character - I speak of bodies of men, and that men of genius and talents have started out of a class, in which women have never yet been placed." (p. 78)



An intelligent, lively discussion could arise from any one of these quotes. I encourage my sisters to read the rest of the chapter, even the book, and put some thought into what you read. My book has more detailed footnotes and explanations than does the website, but there are probably other helpful sites. If you find some that you like, or if you would like to help start a healthy discussion, please post a comment. All comments are welcome, even from men - as long as they are conducive to the quotes and/or discussions.


http://www.bartleby.com/144/

http://www.bartleby.com/144/4.html

*All excerpts quoted are from A Vindication of the Rights of Woman, Mary Wollstonecraft, Copyright 1996 by Dover Publications, Inc.

Stuff That Would Bore My Sisters, 2

Sense and Sensibility would probably interest my sisters. Men, instead, would probably find that one boring.

The movie ends well for the characters only because they follow their hearts after society's rules (regarding love and marriage) leave them wanting. I completely understand the feeling of being left wanting for love by trying to do what others think is right. I can also identify with Mary Anne's character for 'becoming acquainted with the world' too quickly and in a manner that nearly led to my 'ruination.' Only neither am I as innocent as she, nor am I the type to sink into a depression until a man resues me.

That being said, I like Colonel Brandon's character as he is truly devoted, nonjudgmental, and, throughout his lady's introduction to the world and subsequent downfall, her knight. Everyone sees how much he adores Mary Anne. Knowing that Willoughby is a scoundrel, he expresses his hope that the young man will be worthy of her. Yet he does not want to appear treacherous, allows her to choose her suitor. Only after she learns of how she has been played does the Colonel reveal his knowledge of Willoughby's indiscretions.

Even when Mary Anne is still getting over her unfaithful lover, Colonel Brandon cares for her. She falls in love with him after all. And he restores her to a place of honor in society. As tough as I feel I've had to be in restoring my own honor (though not without help from some others after all), I rather cherish chivalric behaviors and long to give my handkerchief to my most worthy knight.