Sunday, July 12, 2009

My old boss new I did not know. Everyone used to be fine with my 'not knowing.' What happened?

She did not understand. Her best friend, Kenni, short for Kennedy, had said not to worry about the demotion but never explained her own involvement. She had to figure that out on her own. Don't want to think about that right now either. Why had Kenni tried to keep me in the dark? She had always known about my husband, they had been talking. Every conversation over the last eight years, with unexplained looks and gestures, not just with her... Stop thinking about that. I can't stop thinking about it. I knew because no matter how many times they say 'if you can't prove it, it didn't happen,' oh, it happened. That was JC's problem with the way the religious leaders manipulated the language. Dehumanize people. That is what they do. Supposedly no one can help someone because it's the Sabbath. Come on, people, don't fall for that crap. The spirit knows what it knows is right. And so many people have been telling me that I need 'Jesus in my heart.'

The rest, though, why had they worked so hard to harass me? Why was it so important for them to sabotage me? They weren't content to do stuff behind my back. They had to make sure I knew they were doing it to me. It took them months of emails, parking lot grafitti, bulletin board posters. Didn't they know I thought they were better than that? I never wanted to believe it was them.

The sex games had thrown her for a loop. At first, she thought that had to be a put on, a joke. It didn't take long to figure out the blackmail, but the manipulation and the reasons for it were confusing. Now, they all had different reasons, she knew. She did not care, did not want to judge, except that once she knew, her job was affected.

First time one approached her, absolutely incredulous! Not the person, she wasn't surprised because she had read enough, but the fact that he was really doing this blew her away. Once she realized there was more than one man, she had ceased to pursue a relationship but kept things going because of the pictures. Point blank, she was not going to let them get away with blackmail. So was this why her co-workers had isolated her? framed her?

John came into her office, while her group were going over some research, to show her two pictures from his nephew's wedding. The same pictures she had seen before. One of them snapped as the bride and groom fed each other cake. His demeanor was different. More confident, as if he knew something. He knows about this, she thought, withholding a gasp. She thought about John's office partner, Nick. Nick used to work overtime with her, but lately when she asked him about working, his response was always "I'm not allowed." Nothing more, nothing less. Only a despondent look in his eyes. What did that mean?

That night, she decided to try something. These people were playing with me, right? Is this how they know so much about me, because they're my co-workers? my friends?The parking lot. The grafitti. It's what I was writing about, the king wearing a jester's hat. The snake. It's my snake that I drew. Some of the drawings were the same as pictures she had seen. No wonder they've been making fun of me for not seeing it. They've put it right in front of me for weeks. Suddenly, the phrases spoken, the emails, everything bulleted her brain. She lowered her head into her hands, ran her fingers through her hair and grabbed on. Why? What is going on?

She typed a message, wondered if it would change anything. And then she read more. Since they said 'If you can't prove it it didn't happen,' she would prove it.

No comments:

Post a Comment