Saturday, July 18, 2009
It was no wonder that she stayed confused. The ones who knew her best thought they knew what was best for her. Had she not always come through the hard stuff? Sometimes she did need help, but not for knowing what she wanted. Or didn't want. Her friend Kenni thought that if she did not search for clues, she would be alright. But the clues were coming at her from every direction. The rest of the world was determined she learn. And she did, but not the way any of them ever thought she would. What she learned...
One of the most unfair aspects was that they interfered with her decision to leave her husband. They did not live with Bill. Had no right to judge her. In retrospect, she realized several of the women had perceived her as a threat. I don't backstab my sisters. Ever. Most of them learned that, but by then it was too late. They had no idea that she had uncovered military and government secrets, business world activities they would never imagine, and the blackmail right over their heads. They could not have saved her if they wanted to. That's why all of them were surprised when her ambulance ride turned into something else. It was not what usually happened to new members. While there, she knew she had to learn fast - and by listening. Listening was the hardest way for her to learn. Most conversations seemed mundane to her, and she was skilled at thinking of other things while someone else was speaking to her. Most of the time.
Sometimes people were impossible to ignore. Like the guest motivational speaker who visited their company not long before she made her break. From the moment the woman began her presentation, she knew this was part of the plan to initiate her. Anger, fear, frustration at her co-workers. How was it all possible that people in all of these different places, even different states, were connected? She could not bear to watch the slide show. Wrote in her notebook instead. Tried not to listen, but she heard most of it. Fighting back the tears was the hardest part, but she was not about to let them see her cry if she could help it.