Saturday, May 16, 2009



Poorly executed plan
has not changed who I am
as a person

I am still lonely
I am still a fighter
A thinker
A scarlet woman

I know more about my peers
I know more secrets
(most people already know mine)
than they do

I am not hiding
Not running
Never did
Like most of you ran

How have I changed
as a person?
Besides I know more about
the people around me?

I won't say I haven't
grown even stronger,
a little wiser,
more humbled,
more proud,
but have I undergone
a significant transformation?
Or am I fundamentally stable?
My foundations, my beliefs
My core values remain intact.
More often than not,
my perseverance has paid off,
my instincts have been correct,
my open heart has won
a few understanding souls
to sympathize
and even empathize
with me,
and I them.

To say you influence me
is a valid statement, yes,
but to say you shape me
is missing the mark, no?

We are who we are.

That we are able to view
our own faults at times
and gather necessary courage
to make positive scary changes
does not change that the person
we are within is the ultimate factor
in whether we choose to see
or to ignore,
and then whether we choose to change
or to stagnate.

The internal engines were built
long ago in the womb.
And not by anyone on this planet.
Anyone who claims to have shaped me,
to have shaped you,
is feeding you a lie as old, as told,
as no one can hold but the anti-truth.

If you are of an easily persuased mind,
then you can be led--
already shaped.

I am here because I still want to be here.






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