Thursday, October 8, 2009

I learn everything

I need to learn

By trial and error.

And it fucking burns.

But I get it.

You still don't get it.

This has been going on

too long -- I let it.

Now you know

I will go,

I will leave.

I don't believe.

You left me behind


And I knew you would.

Still write

on the back of your hand.

I'm no fool.

Been ahead of you,

Waiting for you,

Told you what I'd do

to see what you'd do,

I see how you react,

Show me what you do.

Your true colors

fly high,

I see them clearly

after clouds roll by.

I see you want it your way,


I see you want me your way,


And you think I don't have

a clue.

I think you don't have

a clue.

There is no faith,

trust is gone.

These things you admitted,

you know I've known.

We both find some things

hard to let go,

hard to let go.

And you know me,

but you don't see

Your ways have killed

my trust.

Your ways will always kill

my trust.

Your ways may work

on someone else,

but I am not

someone else.

I never have been,

Will never be

someone else.

But you can't stop

treating me

like I am not me,

but someone else.

I am the one

who knows you,

the one who has

lived with you,

who knows the things

no one else knows,

how you drift

when attention blows.

How you love

when attention blows.

You're a semi-expert

at the game,

but I find you

just the same.

You've always been

the same,

You will never

never change.

I drew you in

by your fears,

as you've drawn me

with zirconia tears.

Now I know

what I need to know.

As long as I stay,

you will haunt my every day,

And you will have

your hideaway

like you've had awhile.

You won't have my smile.

You will have none of me.

Not like this.

I am not made for this.

You do not deserve my kiss.

You cannot have me,

You cannot have me,

I cannot pretend,

I cannot be

Ignorant - I was never blind,

Nor deaf,

Nor lacking in mind.

I knew then

What I needed to know,

I knew,

But I loved you, couldn't go.

Now I know

You believe I'll go,

I know that your knowledge

Does not change what you don't show.

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