If I had listened to my mother,
I would not have seen a leprechaun,
Would have put aside some blueberries
had I listened to the ice cream man,
Would not have chased unicorns
if I listened to the news,
So it hurts that there were few
who did that for me, too,
But that was yesterday.

Power of zero,
a small affair,
hippie colors,
a two-faced glare.
Borrow, take for ten seasons,
then shove me off a bridge for what reason?

Oh yeah, you thought
I was after your fitness trainer,
but I told you 'no,' and anyway,
That was a no brainer.
Like I would screw my sister
and take her active mister.

When I said that I knew
what I was doing,
Everyone knows I meant
that thing you all were brewing,
Not the 'whys' -
It's still not right.

But even last year
before I was learning,
You knew I knew
your passions were burning.
So insecure in your way,
Never asked if I play...

And you seem to have
no conscience at all
To try to put a friend
across from you in the hall.
You didn't mind to see me fall
Though I held you up back in the fall.

All for what you thought
I understood.
No, I knew enough
that it wasn't good.
You kicked me from the boat
and hoped I wouldn't float.

You bragged about your inlaws
with their shiny toys,
You felt confident to get your way
with support of good ol' boys.
But you lost your humanity,
for money and vanity.

Who is the real loser?
Who is the real winner?
I'm no saint,
but we're both sinners.
Have you regrets for one moment this tail
that got you your job while I landed in jail?

I never said a word
until just now,
Thought it, gave you the benefit
of a doubt.
You looked in my eyes every day,
Knew I knew not and smiled away,

I have always looked for
friends to trust,
To find the good,
and hope for just,
I don't want to hurt you,
but I'd like to perceive you

As someone whose soul
means more than a 'thing'
of earthly stuff that when you die
doesn't mean anything.
You can make a mistake and live
guilt free - when you're ready, I'll forgive.

One dog gone, only two here now, and only one I don't want to let go. Django, my big dog, and I went for a short walk earlier. Besides thinking of politics, I thought of how it is that I love Django so much when I am not that good with animals. From day one, I saw that he, like me, paid attention to people. The first time he tried, he realized I hate to be licked on the face. He will only do it if I ask him to, and those occasions are rare. Only a handful of times has he accidentally nipped me. I have only once raised my voice in reaction, and that was to the pain, not to him, because I have always seen the effort he has taken to not hurt me, or anyone else for that matter.

Also a gentleman, Django surprised my daughter by giving her the right of way to the kitchen. I explained that he always shows respect to me like that, and I love him for that and for being protective of me when we are out. He has never liked strange men or even teenage lads to come near me when we are walking or hiking. He always growls like a mad dog, lol, and then we continue quickly on our hike.

Ours is not a one way relationship. Because I see how much attention he pays me, I have tried to learn his likes and dislikes, his moods (usually calm, but sometimes aggravated), and I've even tried to read his thoughts - I know that is strange. I don't care. We don't talk much. Most of the time, we don't talk much but seem to read each other. Yes, I talk to him, but only if I have something to say. Even then, he will look at me sometimes like I am silly, but I don't mind. I stop talking, though, until I have something better to say.

He let's me think I'm in charge. This morning, I decided to jog for a lap, almost two - we both needed water quick. It's humid since the rain last night... Anyway, Django, who had walked at my pace, ran at my pace, but then he slowed us down. I followed his lead, a good thing. We ran twice as long as I thought I could, we could, and then we weren't so tired afterward. I'm taking him to a special place in just a few, because I want to be outdoors with him some more today.

In the last few months, I had stopped going out with him. I was, indeed, focusing a lot on other things, on trying to accomplish a goal. I forgot how good it felt just to get out and enjoy nature. My daughter used to go with me, but she is grown now. Has her own things to do. Django is a cool companion. I started bringing him along when my girl was still with me, but now it is just the two of us. I feel lucky I have him, especially now. After writing this, though, I wonder to myself whether Django thinks I am his dog, ha ha.

____I asked you for water,
You gave me wine

________I asked you for bread,
____You brought it with meat

____________I asked you for a pillow,
________You offered your shoulder

I asked how to thank you,
____You asked me to be real

Inside
I have been gathering
courage to walk around
on my misunderstood
hard luck bones.

I know that I can,
the knowledge being
the lift
as there is no one else
to lift me.

Not today.

Only more stones
for my bones.
I cannot stretch
my heart
any further
for friendship
than I still do.

I do not know
if I am doing it wrong,
or if your intent
never was.

The only road I can take
is the road that leads
to loving,
to learning.

Will you walk with me?

Unbroken,
bent but unbroken
I stand straight again
just as before

All the madness,
the confusion,
they have faces
and names

Assurance
is an expensive commodity,
but one for which I am willing
to pay a high price,

as well as for friendship,
trust,
loyalty,
respect,
honor.

Standing alone but tall,
a friend,
trustworthy,
loyal,
respectful,
honorable

For You, my friend.

Loving myself today,
a fresh spirit,
new ideas of freedom...

I hear the mower.
Don't care.
I hear the shower.
Don't care.
I hear the keyboard.

I care.

I hear the road
calling my name.
I hear the the laughter
of sand on the beach.
I hear the heart
of my lover,
beating for me.

My path is turning
as I knew it would have to;
now I see it, the future
more clearly,
and I view it with much
anticipation.

Fear?
Maybe, but of what
I cannot say,

except

I never want to leave
a brother behind
without saying 'goodbye.'

He thinks he knows what I want,
but he thought wrong.
Pixel words are not the same
as eye words,
as intoned words,
as body language words.
If you can have at least one of those
with the words,
at least every now and again,
when you know the person
backward and forward
and back again,
then the words have truer meaning.

Bored with everyone fake

Need real people, flesh, warmth

I fell into the game,

love to play,

but I want the real deal

not a role.

I am a soul.


I thought to fly north.

He just wants his head rubbed.


I thought to tour a skyscraper.

The facade seemed too new.

I was afraid to enter.


The man in the park has a dark side.

The good side is goddamned sexy, though.

And he was not afraid to kiss me.


Everyone else is married.

(Wry smile)

I guess all of this was good enough for you.

Reckon it can be good enough for me.

Unsure where to go from here,

since there are no publishers,

not for me,

no love,

no, none of that for me either,

a couple of friends.

That's cool.

I will still write with them.

"Goodbye Song" by Lluvia

Goodbye song
I hate to leave you

But we will never be apart

Nothing's wrong
I can't deceive you

But we can't go back to start

Did you ever know
how much I need you?

Did you ever know
how much I cared?

When you needed someone,
I tried to reach you,

I saw your broken heart,
__________I dared...



Miss you, love,
wish you were here

I can't believe we're through

Deep in my soul
I hold your fears

I never meant to hurt you

Did you ever know
how much I cried?

Did you ever know
that I was scared?

Did you ever know
inside I died?

When I thought
____you didn't care?


Take the love cause I can't take it back.
Use it, try to fill what you lack.
If you ever need me, I'll listen.
You're always a friend I'm missin.'

The autumn breeze will carry red leaves
away from you,

and none can contain the wind,
especially not the leaves.

Trees will hold onto yellow and orange
until bare,

But the red will be the first to leave.