Poet On A Leash

First Aid Training Partners

2010-03-07T18:52:00.000-05:00

2010-03-02T19:10:00.005-05:00

Compassion,

the power to change

souls.

Passion,

the desire to share

souls.

2010-02-23T07:24:00.004-05:00

Undesirable

scrap at your feet to be loved

and to give you love.

2010-02-21T22:19:00.002-05:00

My lips are sealed with a kiss that waits for your mouth to take it.

My mouth will squeal when your lips doth steal

the kiss from my anxious, quivering, thirsty lips.

They will part for you as wide and deep as you want to enter,

Will open a warm, soft bed for you to lay yourself into.

My lips will welcome you, will give you a home for as long as you will stay...

Will find the most sensitive places to tease and taste you,

Will pucker and pull you, please you,

play with you.

Pry me open with the tip of your tongue,

Probe me gently, forcefully,

longingly,

Until my depths are as familiar to you as your own face

in the mirror,

Until...

my depths return you to yourself.

2010-02-21T21:38:00.002-05:00

I have never been afraid to share my emotions,

only afraid of a missed opportunity,

a closed door - you counted on that- or

a window that won't open,

with you on the other side.

But I was hooked before you turned the lock,

I threw myself on your hook

and climbed the line,

slipped into your boat.

Didn't know you caught a real live mermaid

with songs for a thousand years?

I learned about the fisherman's trade,

saw how slimy and grimy the gutting,

the fileting of smooth skins and delicate fins

that adorn each tender catch;

smelled the rancidness from the work,

the labor of love inflicted on minnows and carp;

heard the tearing flesh and the squirm of eyes popping

and entrails splattering,

the gasping for breath.

Every man must work,

and some must be fishermen.

It is hard to remember the fish want to live.

That the end of their life is nourishment for you.

Will the ending fare better for the mermaid?

You should gaze upon her,

even show her that your hands are for more than fileting,

and when your curiosity is satisfied,

then throw me back - if you can.

2010-02-21T21:28:00.002-05:00

Should I stop before I say too much?

Like how the thought of your hands

learning my curves

makes me catch my breath

and my heart beat faster.

Do you want to know if I can say more than three or four words

when I am around you?

No one else has that horribly embarrassing effect on me.

Only you.

You would be the lucky one to make me stop talking,

stop thinking, lol.

Only I don't know that I've even laughed in front of you.

I dream that I do.

I say and do all kinds of things in my dreams.

And then there's no need to speak.

2010-02-21T21:12:00.005-05:00

Pent up emotion never lies,

it builds and builds and starts to rise

like red hot magma going off

at 4 a.m. before the alarm.

I don't want a cure for this,

I want a darker, shadier bliss,

I will put it aside

until it is our time.

Tomorrow I must be serious,

so tonight I am delirious,

thinking of you,

wanting you.

2010-02-21T21:01:00.002-05:00

One night.

Could you let me go after one night?

One night and one morning.

Would you miss me the next night?

I am to fly.

Can you live without one night?

I may not fly far.

Would you regret having missed one night?

A missed appointment.

Would you lie awake at night?

You missed on purpose.

Would I haunt you at night?

Close enough to have touched.

Have you dreamed of me at night?

Not listening, I thought of your kiss.

Would you kiss me all through the night?

A love affair to remember.

What if it were only for one night?

A love affair to treasure

if only for one night.

2010-02-21T20:45:00.002-05:00

I found the myth that was not meant to be,

the sophisticated, simple you,

and the unpolished, complex me;

and everyone laughed because

they could not see that you were as lonely

as I was.

Me, with my living ghost,

my shell of a man who forgot how to feel...

if he ever did know.

You with your void.

Absolutely absurd, yes.

But something neither of us expected,

wanted.

I was never fooled.

I knew you wanted me as I wanted you.

But you fooled yourself.

It was enough for you to look my way,

to look at me as a decent, intelligent woman,

and not as a slut to be put in her place.

You smiled,

and I knew you meant it,

and I wanted to thank you,

to thank you.

Thank you.

The way you looked at me

was more than any words you could ever say.

I will always love you for that.

I have loved before,

and I am certain to love again,

but I will give you a chance if you want

to let people laugh to hide their jealousy.

2010-02-21T20:27:00.003-05:00

Nighttime comes too slowly,

but your memory

races across my body,

raises me up

to your--

to where you were,

where I want you to be.

You were there,

in my dreams.

In my arms,

in my mouth, in me,

in my legs,

you...

Every night we rocked together

under shadows,

smoldering flames glowed in your eyes,

saw through my darkness,

punished my naivete,

plundered my ignorance,

and filled me with yourself.

You've already been here.

Already been here.

Do you want to know what you made?

Stay away if you will,

and let someone else caress your sculpture,

gaze at your painting,

leave grafitti on your

work.

Deny me,

my love, and deny me my love.

I will wait for you.

2010-02-21T20:21:00.002-05:00

Morning kisses fill the air;

they float and dance laughingly

before they land on me

here

and here

and here

oh!

and, oh yeah,

there, there, there!

Take me down,

down by the maypole.

I'll tie a ribbon of love,

fiery, sweet love

around the maypole for you.

2010-02-21T20:05:00.002-05:00

Your kiss melted into my mouth,

warm milk chocolate on my tongue,

the sweet aftertaste of desire

fills my breath.

Pour it on thicker,

let it drip.

Drink me.

2010-02-20T19:23:00.002-05:00

Sisters,

I miss you. I wish you were here. You could share my springtime with me. A few years ago, someone gave me a flower and told me that I was going to bloom. It has taken long enough, but, finally, she is right.

I must be the luckiest woman in the world to have two springtimes. Or is that the way it was with you? You must tell...

Did you hold the sun in your hands,

whisper your secrets to the wind,

slip your tongue to the rain that ravished your face...

Or did you burst like a thundercloud

and share your radiance with a dry, thirsty land?

Or did you float with joy as silky dandelion seeds

and pick up dust and learning along the way?

Where did you arrive?

Who met you?

I begin today.

2010-02-20T18:56:00.002-05:00

Twice I asked you, no,

mentioned _________ to you.

You told me not to worry (?) about that.

I'm not worried.

Shocked is a bit much, but close to the thought.

You probably don't remember.

I know other things, too.

Would you be shocked to know that strangers

openly display dissatisfaction with the purse I carry?

As if my choice of accessory would make a difference

in their lives.

But that is nothing compared to the other...

that other....

that is like so much other that I find amazing.

Should I be apalled?

You can shut my mouth by kissing me.

2010-02-15T23:42:00.002-05:00

I moved a plant from one corner of the room...

to another corner of the room.

It made a noticeable difference in the atmosphere.

2010-02-15T23:30:00.002-05:00

Snow days are terrific!

=)
Red flags stand out brilliantly in the snow so sparkly.

Crimson, bleeding truth.

I cannot look away.

Today is one more day to live.

Tomorrow is the next day to live.

Breathe.

Relax.

Spring is coming.

LIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2010-02-15T12:54:00.000-05:00

Shhhh.....

2010-02-08T16:31:00.002-05:00

I am .

And the world lurched again.

I laughed.

I cried.

I thought for a while.

Am I .

I am more than a fragment.

More than fragmented.

That is all, she said.

2010-02-08T14:32:00.002-05:00

My war on two fronts,

Impossible to reign in the tornado

with the tidal wave throwing its shadow

over my shoulder.

Don't you know me by now?

I turned the pyramid upside down,

and the bottom point is crowded with everything

I cannot read.

No desire for what is not mine--

But what is mine?

The tornado might, might

of the tornado...

.might.

At war with the tornado.

The tidal wave waiting for me,

thinks I mean to taint its walls,

Paint its walls with my presence.

Defense

versus offense,

back-to-back with offense,

in my home.

One is not done well without

expense to the other.

To rest will calm the sea.

To rest will leave be

the tornado.

To choose is to lose.

2010-02-07T22:19:00.002-05:00

_______R_________________L

___A________B________O

L________________________R

Dedicated to My Sisters

2010-02-06T10:35:00.003-05:00

1.

Why do women tell stories?

With each pinch of salt, she tells

a flavor of life,

With each stitch on a quilt, she threads

the old with the young,

Each lock of hair tucked tenderly in an envelope reminds

that time waits for nothing.

The stories are to remember everything

we should never forget.

2.

My name is Joan. Do not forget.

My name is Anastasia. Do not forget.

My name is Harriet. Do not forget.

My name is Hypatia. Do not forget.

My name is Rosa. Do not forget.

My name is Anne. Do not forget.

My name is Nicole. Do not forget.

My name is Elizabeth. Do not forget.

My name is Amelia. Do not forget.

My name is Sally. Do not forget.

My name is Cleopatra. Do not forget.

When I am called 'whore' and worse, remember that is usually the first way others try to degrade a woman's character.

When it is said that I was disobedient and unruly, remember that the men try to make the rules different for women.

When I am forgotten, someone will eventually remember.

2010-02-01T23:44:00.001-05:00

I'm getting out again tomorrow,

getting into my skin again,

getting on

with life,

looking up--

2010-01-10T13:24:00.002-05:00

My favorite line from the movie "The Princess Bride" is Wesley's: As you wish.

I have the movie on VHS. It's cold outside. Hot chocolate and a good movie seem to be in order.

"Snow" on the Instant Coffee

2010-01-10T01:13:00.002-05:00

This bit of instant coffee was tucked away in the back of a rarely used cabinet. I know it's gross, but I thought it was also kind of cool. I did not expect to see mold, just dried up coffee. =)

2010-01-10T01:03:00.007-05:00

Peace.

2010-01-09T23:58:00.007-05:00

Beautiful moments are

when one can put personal feelings aside

and do something to benefit others,

even when others have hurt the person.

Two persons especially wanted to listen to me.

Two strong trees, much greater than these.

They are the ones who have had to wrestle with me. Look past my pain. Take it on the chin and below the belt. They are my heroes.

I love them both more than anything.

2010-01-09T23:14:00.000-05:00

2010-01-09T22:41:00.001-05:00

(Peace)

2010-01-09T19:13:00.002-05:00

The heart-shaped rock I found...

I knew it was yours when I picked it up,

by the name carved in the center.

I didn't know it was mine.

You must have the one with my name.

I'll make it now.

2009-12-14T13:21:00.003-05:00

Level the valley
In the open, in full view,
Serenely patient.
Underneath the mist
Sway dandelion pillows,
Stay springy moss beds;
Cupped petal hammocks
Caress delicate dewdrops
Until sun’s heat reigns.
The valley exposed,
A million faithful blades guard
Her buried secrets.
And then—she trembles.
Violent tremors shudder
Beneath splitting skin.
Heaved upwards a force
Through torn, effaced dirt and rock—
The mountain is born,
Mightily ascends
To thirstily drink the light,
To bathe in the clouds.
No longer unseen,
No longer invisible,
She rests in his shade.
He plunges her depths,
Descending to hidden dreams,
Leans on her soft strength.
She clings to his side,
Finds joy in his protection.
The two become one.
Valley and mountain
Belong one to each other;
They are each other.
Should the mountain fall,
The valley will yet remain
With him inside her.

Conundrums

2009-12-09T12:13:00.001-05:00

When a country has 11 million people who aren't leaving any time soon, and we allow them to marry and have children... and we allow them to be underpaid... and we do not allow them to receive social security or medicaid when they are old... (can they receive their 401k?)... and we do not allow them to legally receive welfare... and we do not give them steps to become legal...

How is that similar and dissimilar to American slavery? There are similarities and differences, but I don't want for all the opinions to be mine.

If a country gives certain rights to an oppressed people, but the same country denies the same certain rights to citizens, and the decision to do so is religious in its basis,

How is that separation of church and state?

Curious about marriage licenses

2009-12-09T11:34:00.002-05:00

Out of curiosity, I searched information on obtaining a marriage license. No, I don't need one. Will never need one again, lol. But if I did, it would not be hard. Even if I lost my SSN, if I were not a legal citizen, I could still obtain a legal marriage license.

Several years ago, a friend pointed out to me that she had more rights than people who had lost theirs - or voluntarily given them up by committing crimes. But they can obtain a legal marriage.

My point is that it is easier for some to obtain legal privileges such as marriage licenses or driver's licenses than it is for others. I think it's a shame that not everyone deserving can do that.

Stuff That Would Bore My Sister, 16

2009-12-04T14:04:00.006-05:00

Sisters, I've been busy and have had little to say. Today I am just airing some thoughts. If you don't fall asleep while reading, that will put a smile on my face. Some thoughts are meant to be humorous, but I realize that I don't always come across that way. I am trying to keep things light, pleasant. But I know I can be boring. Oops. I was just boring. (Closing my mouth...)

Perhaps unemployment is higher in recent years because fewer people are willing to work jobs with honest but less prestigious status than they would prefer. If unemployment is high, then I suspect that many people are drawing unemployment – which pays higher in many cases than were a person to work a “lesser” job. (Work two. I've done it, and I'm alive.) What was that movie about the Depression era golfer and the caddie? American mindset regarding unemployment and benefits has changed since then.

A few immigrants left the country (and have probably returned), but their jobs - the jobs that others don't want - are still available to them. So much for immigrants taking jobs. Okay, there are some exceptions such as construction. 10% of the population (latest unemployment rate) did not lose construction jobs. It would interest me to know how many of their jobs were outsourced since there is much talk of that as well.

People are war weary. But I haven’t forgotten 9/11. Iraq and Al Qaeda are two different things. 9/11 was a tremendous blow not simply due to the thousands of innocent lives lost but also due to the long lasting impacts such as our country’s defense, the economic downturn, questions about what it means to be an American.

9/11 stands for September 11th. September is the seventh month in some countries.

A lot of people argue Obama hasn’t accomplished everything he set out to do, although he still has 3 more years to complete his goals. The President is not a dictator. He has a Congressional "wife" with whom he shares power. (I threw that out in hopes that it reads with slight humor, but it will probably land like a brick.)

The chosen body (Congress) has a tremendous task of representing their constituents, supporting the Commander-In-Chief, and keeping their jobs. I do not envy them.

Saddam Hussein was an evil dictator. He was also a check against Iran.

In the late 90s, I received an email about the deplorable treatment of women in Afghanistan. Husbands there are often powerless to help their own wives, daughters, mothers, sisters. For decades, there has been the debate about whether the U.S. should be the “police” of the world. Maybe it depends. Maybe we should ask survivors from Rwanda or Croatia. A few years ago, I worked with two people of different faiths who were not allowed to congregate with each other in their home country.

Whenever, wherever soldiers are sent, their well-being should be considered first.

Sarah Palin did not win the election for the Republican Party. However, the Democratic win was not a landslide. I wonder at the manner in which her comment about seeing Russia from Alaska was picked apart. Many people say it was dumb. I equate it to Bush Sr.’s comment about supermarket prices – not in sync with the forefront of public opinion. The “follied” Alaskan purchase was later dubbed wise during the Cold War. Its abundance of natural resources makes it valuable. Had it not the wealth under the ice, would we cede it to Canada, Russia or to another country? There are trees between our house and the neighbors. The neighbors are where I can see them. But there is the buffer. Land is still land.

Hillary is still #1. [Lest anyone think I am tossing her for Palin... =)]

Growing up, I heard some adults say they did not like seeing black and white people married. How many young people know that interracial marriage was against the law in several states as late as my lifetime? There were people who disapproved of my mother’s marriage to a Hispanic. And contrary to large scale denial, many people continue to think that “races” (I use the term loosely) should not mix. I hear the same things being said today about gay people. Denying their rights to get married is no different than slaves having jump to the broom to do what was in their hearts and souls. (Slave marriages were not recognized by the law.) It seems the only argument against gay marriage that op”posers” can come up with are religious in nature. And a few people have tried to show me in the Bible where interracial marriage is a sin, too. Whatever. Science is showing us that women can have Y chromosomes and other stuff. (Sounds real educated, huh? I know when I shouldn't try to use scientific terminology!) Galileo had to "take it back" on pain of torture and/or death when he said that the sun was the center of the solar system. The argument doesn't hold water. To the debaters, how many times has it been stated that God does not make mistakes? 2010 is almost here. Gay people deserve to be as miserable as all the other married people. (Which comedian said that?) Equal status for all taxpaying, law abiding, country serving citizens.

Laws against oral sex and sodomy are still “on the books” in some places. Raise your hand if you are guilty.

Ninja Assassin is a pretty good movie for martial arts fans. I like the director’s choice to shoot fight scenes in shadows where flashes of steel and bodily movement are surprising in their attacks. The heroine’s scenes in the dark with the flashlight were well played. What could have easily been cheesy script dialogue was performed realistically by the actors. I also thought it was cool that the heroine was a gorgeous black woman who had two hot guys defending her. The movie is a good setup for an even better sequel. Oh, and when the actor Rain is doing an exercise demo in his apartment, his sweat pants lowered just enough when he spun to give the best eye tease. Mmm! Perhaps they will consider that for the next movie. This one was good for what was seen but even more for the things not seen.

If you made it this far, dear Sisters, then I appreciate your efforts. Have a fantastic weekend! =)

Snippet from The Misadventures of Super Slut

2009-10-21T15:23:00.003-04:00

I guess you think I am all those tools rolled up into one.

Not all of them. Too bad they don't let people your age on Tool Academy. Since we are technically old enough to be grandparents, you could be 'G-Tool.'

'G-Tool?'

You know. Like 'GMILF.'

What's a 'gmilf?'

Ha! It's a grandmother milf!

Oh, no! Ha ha ha ha!

The Misadventures of Super Slut, 3

2009-10-21T15:05:00.004-04:00

El Muchacho laughed when Super Slut began telling him of her plan. She knew he would tell it to at least one other person. They would do half of her work for her. His face grew more serious as he realized that she was serious. The only way he would win now was to do what he feared most: let down his walls for her.

If I were an 'other woman' of yours, then this would be about jealousy.

Super, I love you. I don't ever want to be married to anyone else. Only you.

Oh, I know that I am your 'number one.' Without a doubt. This, El, is about my dignity. Or my pride, if you will. You have hurt me a lot over the years.

I've been a real son of a bitch. He repeated himself four or five more times. Super had never called him that. Wait - she had once, but she immediately apologized for disrespecting his mother like that. The fact that he said it meant that he was well aware of how he had treated her for years.

Everyone knows how I messed up. I never denied what I actually did, she scolded. She went through some of his transgressions that she had overlooked. Thong in the waterbed. Like new. Secret messages with her co-spies when she introduced them to El. Leaving her to deal with the Triple Squad at the Satchiton. Backdoor car dealings with The Perve and with Stiletto. Late night rendezvous in Volbino's cab. Updating his secret black book in restaurants and making lame excuses. Courting one of her oldest friends to his side when Super brought her to the house. Suspicious calls and hang ups. The accidental conversation when one woman mistook Super's son for El. Suggestive emails. One with a thought provoking photo. Secret 'communications' over theyears with his ex, Daniela.

Super Slut had not known the code. But she knew other things that had never set well with her. Eye language. Facial expressions. Bodylanguage. Head and hand gestures. Hesitations. Reactions. She knew what did and did not make sense. She knew the difference between respect and disrespect.

Yeah, but guys never want to admit stuff that makes them look bad. Laugh. In fact, we do everything we can to make sure we look good. He did not appear to understand that her pain would not go away if hewas not sincerely regretful and if he continued to hang with TheWickeds. Even more disturbing was that Super realized: El Muchacho is extremely conscience deficient.

Do you think it's possible that I have been doing things, selfish things, that benefit me and that I don't want you to know about?

Yes! I already know this. But every time I think we are past all of your nonsense, I find out you are still plotting with the bad guys.

How are you so sure? Can you prove it? Not this time, El. I am on to you. Every time I tell you how I know something, you use that against me. You get nothing.

El laughed in response.

Besides, she went on, I'm not even tracking you anymore. I've seen enough to know that I can never trust you.

But you can! Just give me more time. You will see.

It was Super's turn to laugh.

Oh my god, you can't be serious! Hell, no, you have had plenty of time.

Sigh. He always sighed big when he wanted to sound important or macho. I'm out. I promise.

Super Slut knew better but was tired of arguing.

Two days later, Super's hope was fading fast. El admitted to secret meetings with Mountain Man when he told her he was working. He forgot that he already told her that - but she did not let on. Patiently, she waited for other apologies to pour forth. They remained padlocked in his conscience-free dome. In her own head, she chided him. You are trying to think of things that wouldn't upset me too, too much. As if I would never pick up on that tactic.

I just need more time, he pleaded. Can't you have a little trust in me? I can be good to you.

You have had years to be good to me.

Guess I failed, she admitted to herself with tears in her eyes. Super hated to fail. Especially when she loved El. Still. And she had tried so hard.

The Misadventures of Super Slut, 2

2009-10-21T14:58:00.003-04:00

Super Slut screwed up again. Gave too much info - one of El's 'suggestions.' El Muchacho could have been instructing her in "proper" protocol, as his partner, but he fought her efforts every day. Tried to confuse her by giving advice that only sabotaged her work.

That's it. I can't take anymore. I have tried to deal with him. She finally figured out that he did not communicate on a profound level with anyone. In perpetual mega-denial, he thought he could buffalo her like he 'kind of' used to. He hadn't really, but she let him slide too many times.The Men were a wiser council than El Muchacho hung with. Had he asked for their help? Were they aware of his communication difficulties? Super thought to send them a message. No. It would be intercepted, andEl would only feel threatened.

Super had to get through to him. Or leave. Time was running out. TheWickeds were plotting to block her escape route at the border. El continued to correspond with them. A double agent. No longer pissed,she had ceased to track his every move. She did not care about the others. They were doing nothing illegal as far as she could determine. Only El mattered.

She was hurt that other women, mostly lesser superheroes, knew things about El Muchacho that she did not. He knew everything about her. El is so thick-headed! Super Slut was normally very forgiving, but this was such a tremendous blow to her pride. She was a superhero, but she was also his wife. With feelings. Asshole.

El had tried to control her. She figured out that he had passed much information about her activities to The Wickeds. Super Slut also realized two rather hard-to-face facts: one was El Muchacho's gift for acting ignorant and innocent; the other was that she had always been too willing to believe his act. She started to pay more attention to his patterns, expressions (verbal and physical), and to when he did or did not hesitate to speak. She began to notice the types of questions he asked to probe her and grew even more adept at not letting him derail her focus.

Like so many others, El had always underestimated her. It was evident he did not think she would leave him. The part of her that still loved him did not want to. Super Slut decided to go for it on 4th and thirty. Her final play. A sister act.

Super Slut had an incredibly risky plan. Success depended on her sisters. Would they help her try to convince El Muchacho that his defense would not hold up against her ultimate move? If they did not want her to become a dangerous, calculating solo agent, they would side with her against him. If the plan failed, she would lose El. Forever.

2009-10-18T19:13:00.003-04:00

/
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Stuff That Would Bore My Sisters, 15

2009-10-18T09:30:00.008-04:00

Sisters, I think I word-for-word stole a phrase or a sentence from Joel Stein or someone else who writes for Time magazine. Or I had another weird dream. For some reason, what I wrote about Obama being 'calm, cool, and collected while the rest of us would be twitching' sounds too familiar. This has been on my mind all night, so I have to try to find the article in question (I'm pretty sure it exists). And I am going to make the proper citations and notations in my post.

**Okay, I could not find the article, but I will continue to look. What may have happened - and I realized this as I began an internet search - is that many people have referred to Obama as 'calm, cool, and collected.' I decided to republish the post with the intent of citing if I find that I have indeed plagiarized.

Since I am here, I want to say 'kudos' to Pepsi for apologizing. Someone forgot to think whether he would like guys sharing info on how to score with his daughter (or mother, sister, aunt, etc.). What a concept! Men sharing information so that certain ones could hook up with particular women.

http://www.blogher.com/pepsi-apologizes-amp-energy-drink-iphone-app-scoring-women

http://blog.taragana.com/n/pepsicos-iphone-app-for-amp-energy-draws-online-ire-for-stereotyping-women-195956/

http://www.brandchannel.com/home/post/2009/10/14/Pepsis-iPhone-App-Offering-Dating-Advice-To-Men-Causes-Controversy.aspx

I know this happens all the time. I do not think it is right. Women should have just as much information as the men. They should realize that men actually set up 'games' where they do things like this. All the time. (Big, giant hint!)

Yes, of course, it is easier to pick up (and manipulate) women when men have access to a lot of information about their likes/dislikes, hobbies/activities to avoid, emotional needs/what makes them tick. They learn to say the right things. AND men can fake the right personality long enough to score.

So thanks a million, Pepsi, for bringing this topic to the forefront of news space and for enlightening us all.

Stuff That Would Bore My Sisters, 14

2009-10-17T20:13:00.010-04:00

***NOTE: I need to check a source.

Sisters, be warned before you start to read. I have held my political tongue for a few weeks. Just wanted to express my thoughts. Feel free, as always, to disagree. I appreciate in advance if you do read, and I don't hold it against you if you don't, lol.

Politics can be very ugly. I've been reading the positive and negative press about Obama. A few days ago, I expressed to a sister that I thought Hillary could be doing better than Obama is. But then I admitted that I am biased in favor of Hillary and that Obama was doing a good job considering all the hardships and drama he inherited. I liked McCain, too, bought books about all three of them during the campaign. Thought the country had some pretty good choices. I would say the same about them today.

A playback (in my mind) of Hillary and Obama during a debate made me think about the country's situation(s) during the campaign and about how I was contemplating my choice. Hillary was openly receptive to the idea of running with Obama. He was good enough for her then, and she is on his team now.

Anyone doing the job is going to be criticized. I do wish the Katrina issue could come to conclusion yesterday. But I don't know what mess he has to untangle. Bush took a lot of heat for that one, too. It seems that if Congress can pass measures that allowed the Iraq invasion, then something could be done about this.

I am proud the health care bill was finally passed. People who gripe never had to pay for insurance out of their checks a year in advance and then be eligible. I've had jobs where I had to pay before I was eligible. In jobs where turnover is high, newer employees help with the costs of older employees' health care benefits. Chances are, the same employees won't be around by the time they are eligible. The businesses win.

One might quip "Then they should not quit their jobs." Medical issues are the reason many people have to quit. It is difficult to receive much assistance when you have a job. This has also happened to me. A government run operation could not help me and my children after my divorce "because you already have a job," they told me. I kept working. But I had to make some tough choices.

A lot of people complain about other things they have to pay for, like public education. Why must we all pay taxes? If having an educated society were not important, then we would not have No Child Left Behind. Our education system would not be compared with that of other countries' systems. It is important.

Some states require everyone to pay for car insurance. There is a reason for that. If your car is wrecked and the other person cannot afford it, someone's insurance will pay for it. Well, the people who want to could pay for insurance. But some persons thought that if they must pay for it, then everyone must pay for it.

Benefits to society should not exclude stakeholders. When it comes to health insurance, everyone is a stakeholder. It costs money when people are sick. People who work over or come in early to cover someone else's shift earn time and a half. People who cannot pay the medical bills can receive assistance - that comes from local, state or federal money - that comes from taxes. Drugs to treat probably cost more than preventative care. And sick people who would rather pay their light bill or buy food than see a doctor may spread their germs to the rest of us.

If the healthcare plan is not perfect, and it won't be, then it can be altered. I feel a lot better about spending money on this than on bailing out big business executives who put extra bonus cash in their pockets. Hey, maybe a few of those dollars came from my paycheck. From my kids' paychecks. What can I do? The government taketh from the workers and giveth to moochers of all social classes. I am pleased that everyone will have access to healthcare insurance.

Obama. I am not unhappy with him yet. Hillary will always be my hero. I wish I could know what it would be like with her as president. I wish I could know how McCain would be as president. They're both ass kickers. I suspect Obama is an ass kicker - but he has a higher boiling point than most of us. So I wonder if that is the problem many people have with him, that he manages to remain cool, calm, and collected when the rest of us are twitching a little bit.***

Many people liked (during the campaign) Obama's coolness because he seemed so opposite W. He (W) wanted to dive into something and get it done. Sometimes that desire to accomplish worked. When it didn't, it wasn't pretty. Now that Obama is in office, it is as though many people are afraid to calm down and be patient. I thought about the list of problems he faced when he was sworn in less than a year ago. I would not have known where to start. In fact, he tried to tackle several issues at once. And some said outright that Obama was trying to do too much at once. That it was too early in his presidency. Can you imagine if he had listened to them?

Like I said, my stomach cramps and my face cringes when I think of Katrina. That has been embarrassing, and I feel for anyone still in need over it. The Nobel is extremely psychologically intriguing. Gay rights are not coming fast enough anywhere. That is not Obama's fault. Closed-mindedness is more pervasive and harder to treat than swine flu.

Obama is doing a decent job. Only the one complaint. Katrina. Oh, two complaints. $ for big business execs. The positive - foreign diplomacy, healthcare, morale, economic upswing - outweighs the negative. Besides, Hillary is working with him. That is good enough for me.

2009-10-17T11:49:00.005-04:00

OMG, Robin Williams was more than worth the money and the wait. My abs got a nice workout, 90 minutes of nonstop laughter. (I should attend a comedy show every night. Nothing else is working for my abs!) But the show was awesome, and I doubt I was the only person who noted that Mr. Williams worked his butt off to keep giving 100% plus toward the end. Thanks, dude!

Laughter is a cool gift to give to others. I am not very funny on purpose. Most of the time when I am funny, it is completely accidental. At my old job, my trainees used to laugh at me every day for the mistakes I made, and that was fine. My dad nicknamed me "Grace," a name that still signifies my lack thereof.

I have worked with a few people with the gift of being humorous, and I have always thought "I'm glad they're here." When they're not around, everyone notices. They are missed. And the rest of us usually end up talking about them and laughing about "what she would have said!" So to all the funny people I've worked with, thanks.

One of my brothers is so funny it hurts. I used to beg him to 'talk to me' - I meant 'entertain me' -- while I washed the dishes. It never occurred to me until now that he enjoyed having a willing audience. On a good run, I've just about peed my pants listening to him. I couldn't stand that he could get out of so much trouble by making our parents laugh. If I could have done the same, lol.

The Misadventures of Super Slut

2009-10-13T14:56:00.004-04:00

/
/
/
Super Slut was locked in her bedroom. This was not usually troublesome, but this time she was pent in with El Muchacho. Surely, El Muchacho did not think he would continue to live his secret life while she stayed at home and monitored the electronics. Okay, he probably did.
/
/
/

2009-10-13T14:41:00.007-04:00

1.

Paper doll

Dress her up

Underneath

She's still a slut

Paper thin

Slips from your thumb

She leaves her mark

Paper cut

Makes you bleed

Makes you hurt

Makes you want

Her sexy butt

You want a game

Without the work

You shove your hands

Inside her skirt

Like that, she's gone

You stupid jerk

You assumed she was

A desperate slut

2.

Red and yellow paper cut

Opens the skin

You slide in

Sits an unfamiliar slut

Lips and nips you want to suck

Vacillate orbs to hide in

Explore within

Hidden gilded locked up trunk

The key was there you saw it glimmer

Fainted stardust

Painted starlust

Silver tongues cast shadows dimmer

You were so close and so blind

You could not touch

Gave not enough

The key remains another's to find

2009-10-12T20:58:00.007-04:00

/
/
/
/

2009-10-08T19:35:00.001-04:00

Paint a smile for me,

Paint a smile on my heart,

Make it sing until the last sunset fades

over an ocean that calls its last farewell.

Trace forever across my cheek,

Trace eternity on my lips

With a touch that knows no sorrow

and leaves me breathless for tomorrow.

Hold me,

Hold me long enough to make me remember

how it feels to know that I will always be loved,

to know certainty.

Don't let me go,

Don't let me fall,

Don't let me push you away when I need you most,

even if I tell you it's what I want cause I lie to be strong.

If This Is How It's Got To Be, Babe, Ha-HA! ;-)

2009-10-08T09:35:00.001-04:00

2009-10-08T09:26:00.003-04:00

Man-woman.

If she is to have a man,

he has to be

'okay'

with letting her be equal,

have the wisdom

and maturity

to have her.

2009-10-08T08:59:00.003-04:00

I learn everything

I need to learn

By trial and error.

And it fucking burns.

But I get it.

You still don't get it.

This has been going on

too long -- I let it.

Now you know

I will go,

I will leave.

I don't believe.

You left me behind

again,

And I knew you would.

Still write

on the back of your hand.

I'm no fool.

Been ahead of you,

Waiting for you,

Told you what I'd do

to see what you'd do,

I see how you react,

Show me what you do.

Your true colors

fly high,

I see them clearly

after clouds roll by.

I see you want it your way,

still.

I see you want me your way,

still.

And you think I don't have

a clue.

I think you don't have

a clue.

There is no faith,

trust is gone.

These things you admitted,

you know I've known.

We both find some things

hard to let go,

hard to let go.

And you know me,

but you don't see

Your ways have killed

my trust.

Your ways will always kill

my trust.

Your ways may work

on someone else,

but I am not

someone else.

I never have been,

Will never be

someone else.

But you can't stop

treating me

like I am not me,

but someone else.

I am the one

who knows you,

the one who has

lived with you,

who knows the things

no one else knows,

how you drift

when attention blows.

How you love

when attention blows.

You're a semi-expert

at the game,

but I find you

just the same.

You've always been

the same,

You will never

never change.

I drew you in

by your fears,

as you've drawn me

with zirconia tears.

Now I know

what I need to know.

As long as I stay,

you will haunt my every day,

And you will have

your hideaway

like you've had awhile.

You won't have my smile.

You will have none of me.

Not like this.

I am not made for this.

You do not deserve my kiss.

You cannot have me,

You cannot have me,

I cannot pretend,

I cannot be

Ignorant - I was never blind,

Nor deaf,

Nor lacking in mind.

I knew then

What I needed to know,

I knew,

But I loved you, couldn't go.

Now I know

You believe I'll go,

I know that your knowledge

Does not change what you don't show.

2009-10-07T22:36:00.008-04:00

The morning chill

asked how will

I warm my heart

when winter comes.

A glow within

ignites a grin.

I'll think of you

when winter comes.

Stuff That Would Bore My Sisters, 13 Part 2

2009-10-07T19:22:00.005-04:00

Yikes, lol. I thought my sisters would know I was referring to the Letterman deal. Alright, it could substitute for other people, too, but he is in the news. Sigh.You know, so is the NOW group (National Organization for Women).

Stuff That Would Bore My Sisters, 13

2009-10-07T15:49:00.004-04:00

Sorry, Sisters, but I have to offer my opinion on something. Feel free to let me know what you think. I promise I don't mind if you disagree.

Women who want to blame a married (or engaged or otherwise taken) man for animosity among women in the workplace should stop and think: "Could I really look his wife in the eyes and tell her how it was all his fault that I slept with her husband?"

It takes a lot of balls to stand up in front of everyone and say "I did something wrong."

And it feels better than letting others control you with the wrong thing that you did.

I try not to play the victim. If I think a situation is unfair, I try to do something about it. Take appropriate action. Make plans.

Don't be afraid of what people might think if they find out you aren't perfect, that you made a mistake. Learn from it.

As for justice, it isn't always served. But addressing a situation may prevent it from happening again to someone else. I suppose there is some form of justice in that.

Women should stick together more often. The same things they say about each other "She has slept with everyone!" could be said of him instead -- "You don't want him, girfriend! He has slept with everyone!"

Too many men realize that women are insecure and jealous and, therefore, easily pitted against one another. And some women are simply so insecure that they cannot be stopped from going after other women who they believe threaten their status. This is crap. Let's take some lessons from the guys. They stick together often enough. Just a thought...

Prelude to Robin Williams in Hotlanta!

2009-10-07T10:25:00.008-04:00

WARNING: Mr. Williams says 'f___' more times in this clip than some people actually do it in a year.

Okay, I decided not to post the link to the youtube 'History of Golf/Robin Williams' video. My sisters follow my blog. They don't like to hear 'f___.'

I am excited about the upcoming event. =) I would like to post links - but I won't. His best stuff is beautifully and intricately laced with common and sophisticated language unsuitable for delicate ears. Of course, mine do not qualify as 'delicate.'

Anyone who wants can hear his stuff on youtube. I was laughing at his and Jim Carrey's videos a week or two ago. Love to laugh!

"Cascade" by Lluvia

2009-10-07T09:36:00.001-04:00

Sometimes I try to draw or paint realistically, but I hardly ever do justice to the actual scene. This is one that I would love to reproduce with my own hand.

2009-10-06T19:19:00.006-04:00

Left him sitting there,

alone;

Thought to go back,

walked on;

Tried not to look

through the window;

A moment past,

but not gone.

2009-10-06T19:08:00.008-04:00

I hear.

It is easier to listen

When self-preservation

Is not my most important mission.

He removed,

but did not erase

what resides in my confidence.

A fool will promise

his love a thousand one vows

and fail to keep one.

Deeds done out of fear

can be carried out not long

without conviction.

One patient but wise

will not idle forever

waiting for a fool.

2009-10-05T23:37:00.003-04:00

A passing glance,

my denial of anticipation

must have glowed strawberries on my cheeks.

Perhaps you will come back,

and we will finish each others' sentences.

Tonight, in my drifting fantasies, we dance.

2009-10-05T07:56:00.006-04:00

Silly man! What pirate would want your booty? she had asked him. There was a new deal, since he would not comply. She promised to make him work so hard protecting his treasure that he had not the time to raid other men's chests. I don't like that idea at all, he had proclaimed. In less than a year, she had become a bad wife, a very, very bad wife. But he had been a lousy husband for years.

Sigh. Pirates should never marry, he admonished himself, yet he had. And she knew that his new shipmates had gotten him into the kind of trouble his old ones never had. How was he to continue sailing the seas with them now? If he continued, she would certainly leave him. She was already packing, just in case she caught him looking at his treasure maps again. Several times, she had asked to go with him, but he had told her 'no.' Some other pirates brought their women occasionally, and it was always awkward to have females aboard the ship.

It was a tough decision for him to make. He was trying to hang onto both of his worlds. He needed her, of this he was certain. But his mates! They were fun, adventurous, exciting! And they took all of his time and attention. He had little left to spend on her. That is why she had been threatening to leave him for more than three years.

Just threats, he had thought. Then she began behaving as though she were no longer married - like he had been doing. He hoped slight effort on his part would fix everything. Sadly, he had continued to carry out misdeeds (and thought she would not notice) and failed to put forth even the slightest effort much of the time.

Now she was packing. And not just her clothes this time. She was packing trinkets, baubles, dishes even! A few paintings she had collected would go, too. She was selling other items for which she had no use. The enormity of goods I would have to deal with is one of the excuses I've had for not leaving, she told him, so I will have one less excuse.

Money, he knew, was another excuse, as was her naivete. Why, she will be taken advantage of! She knows hardly anything about how the world works! Damn! What is a pirate to do? He swore again and banged his fist on the table in exasperation. The commotion startled the parrot who flapped his wings against the wooden bars of the cage and squawked in a tremendous shrieking mock "What is a pirate to do? Damn!"

Just Poems...

2009-10-02T14:12:00.008-04:00

These are just poems, nothing else. Just poems.

1.

Been thinking,

how neither of us like to fight,

but you always say

you fight because you love me,

or you would stand back,

let me go

like you let her go,

but you love me,

so you fight yourself,

the things you know that I know,

the life you don't want me to know,

because you love me...

Butterfly wings for your picking,

Rainbows on black for your licking,

Hot pink toll booth to heaven,

Wet and primed for pricking;

Inconsolable lips

Quiver over your hips,

Eagerness sets in

As passion flows and pours and drips;

Desperate hands upon your chest,

Forced breaths exude from my breast,

Your eyes -- I fell in,

Submitted to your wickedness.

3.

You hide, I flaunt,

I chase, you taunt,

My open book, your deception

Leave us both to want.

We are only ours to lose,

Each day we choose

Not peace, but our weapon,

Never achieving more than truce.

One,

you want my whole

for yourself.

What do you give me but reminders

that I was not good enough,

better than anything you ever had,

so you said,

but never good enough...

5.

Stop complaining

that you deserve better,

when all I ever hear is

"Please,

Don't leave me,

I love you

More than I have ever loved anyone.

I need you.

Give me one more chance.

Please?"

I must love you

More than I have ever loved anyone,

because I know you,

and I keep on giving you

One more chance.

Jealous of me, you explained

why you beat me so...

When I know others whose inner beings

I admire,

I long for them,

they give me reason to aspire,

Not more reason to self-hate.

I never complained,

Never asked you to not be

humorous,

adorable,

sweet,

Just to stop giving it all away,

leaving no food for me

to eat.

Feed me first!

Please, please...

(sob)

feed me first.

You behave as though I

lack the right

To point out our deficiencies,

As though my belief

in your potential,

my attempts to fight

For us--

(whimper)

You refuse to see

The man in your mirror,

an adolescent mirage.

You still see who you wish to see.

For my efforts,

You spit on me,

On us.

You ensure your fantasy image

lives on

At our expense.

Your selfish pretense.

7.

I dance to the rhythm

Of the turning world.

As grey morning

Becomes

A golden day,

A harp is born along the wall;

It's strings lengthen

Until a midday crescendo,

Then slowly fade

Into a lullaby.

The morning muse

Pulls out her harp,

Fingers stroke strings,

Sleeping colors awaken

To golden melodies

Gliding across the grey landscape.

9.

Your tentative question,

Can she crawl under my blanket?

She did come to see me...

Incredible.

A bewildered 'no' floats from my lips

And lands a puzzle on your face.

Am I to forget she was also there

to tell you where she was buying

the men's shirts?

Played her music so loud,

As if I were tone deaf.

I tried to be,

Said proudly, like a blushing bride,

That we had renewed our vows.

All one motion,

hands slapped her lap as she stood;

I had not meant to slap her face.

She decreed you buy yourself

"A paper Burger King crown

and a matching tiara for _____."

Said my name,

gestured a nod in my direction,

As if I were blind...

A crystal tear 'no' escaped my heart,

colllided with your wall.

Your lying lips agreed,

Began throwing

My other friends

under the same bus.

I want to throw myself

under there, too,

find some peace

from your double dealings.

10.

How would you humiliate me

into begging for your love

and believing your stories?

Would you strip me and beat me?

Would you laugh while I struggled

to rise from my fall?

Would you?

Would you push me back down

when I tried to get up?

Would you deny me your commitment

you made on the bridge?

Would you?

Would you rather save yourself

from the truth

than save us?

Would you?

11.

The body is willing.

Love versus hate versus apathy

revolve in a deadly bitter triangle.

You cannot give,

I cannot leave,

So we grieve.

You like the attention,

the sympathy

too much to face the truth.

For glimpses of your love,

I remain.

12.

You make me Laugh.

I love You.

Hurry Home.

It's Friday,

and I'm Horny.

2009-10-02T07:52:00.005-04:00

I LOVE

DAVID LETTERMAN

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Stuff That Would Bore My Sisters, 12

2009-10-01T14:37:00.004-04:00

Sorry, Sisters, but you knew I would get back to you sooner or later. The Complete Illustrated Kama Sutra, edited by Lance Dane, is turning out to be one of the most helpful books I've ever read. No, I am not encouraging you to become courtesans, but to learn another perspective on the relationships between men and women and possible interactions with other members of society. Okay, that does not sound right either. I guess, ladies, I am trying to say that the best offense is a good defense. Or at least that is the best place to start.

For this post, I am not going to quote any of the sex stuff, although that is more than interesting. Instead, I chose a paragraph that speaks of the higher thinking that underlies the material and sexual aspects of society. My understanding of the word pleasure, taken in the context of the full paragraph, means a way of life that is pleasurable and has more than a mere sexual connotation.

"A citizen discoursing, neither entirely in the Sanskrit language, nor wholly in the dialect of the region, on various topics in society, obtains great respect. The wise should not resort to a society disliked by the public, or one not governed by any rules, and intent on the destruction of others. In fact a learned man living in a society which acts according to the wishes of the people and which has pleasure as its only object, is highly respected in this world."

2009-10-01T14:31:00.003-04:00

i know he loves me

because he shaved his head

and his face,

he was open to my wisdom,

and he left that awful place.

i know he loves me.

2009-10-01T13:42:00.004-04:00

Injustice, to expose them only

to the sun;

let them be washed in quicksilver,

their scars be softened...

None see the scars to be,

slits and gashes you pull apart

again,

tearing my tender flesh...

your lies penetrate less deeply

newly healed tissues,

stronger in resistance...

your dulled tongue,

your same ol' song

lulls our love into the hands

of the sandman...

I fought him for us

with all I had...

deaf to my cries,

drowned out by his laughter

you mistook for praise.

2009-09-30T14:53:00.003-04:00

no hands for you.

cry.

ripped apart.

what was is no more.

my coin for you.

flip.

spin.

suspended in time and space...

2009-09-30T13:58:00.004-04:00

__I woke up alone this morning.
Thoughts of you descended from my eyes
to splash and die in an hot tub of oil
with my eggs, sunny side up,
____and I burned my biscuits.

2009-09-30T12:00:00.003-04:00

1.

She offered me her hacky saw,
to lay some eggs
and a dozen roses.

I offered to milk the cow,
to shear the sheep.

So we did.
I miss those times.

2.

She used to visit me nightly,
look up at me with big blue eyes
that took up half of her face,
begging to crawl in beside me,
sometimes hiding,
waiting for me.
I knew words
that would make her leave,
but they also made her cry.
I usually let her stay.

2009-09-24T12:44:00.000-04:00

Proof and more for the proper persons.

2009-09-24T12:11:00.005-04:00

She had been asking for something to believe in. Here it was. She wanted to know whether or not this society was willing to tolerate sickos but not the people who are disgusted by them. Would the decent lawmakers talk with her?

She added a note to remind them that she had been minding her business and left the other battles alone. This was her business, but it should be everyone's business. It is never okay to mess with peoples' kids.

2009-09-24T11:45:00.004-04:00

She apologized to everyone else for her outburst, for she had learned that this was not how to handle things. Even situations like this one. She would have gone to the cops, but she did not know where they were. The first time she called, they had only tried to cover up stuff, even hers. There had to be others who would do the right thing.

She had solid evidence, and she was sure no one would doubt that she would lose her temper like that over speculation. She had uncovered things much stranger and less likely than an old flame whose obsession extended to her daughter.

She was sorry, and she expected no sympathy. She did expect other more important laws to be enforced. One thing that had not been explained to her was why the petty laws she had broken seemed more offensive than the serious law. She was ready to follow the rules, but only if the lawkeepers would show everyone that they were for real.

She was never against rules, and she was finally beginning to understand some of the basics. In her statement, she never tried to deny her own shortcomings. She knew mothers would understand. She hoped the fathers would understand what it was like to find out that someone had been net-stalking their baby.

She promised to listen to the authorities who she was sure had to be somewhere. The authorities who were just as concerned with the spirit as the letter of the law, who were concerned with felonies and not only misdemeanors. Her husband knew that she had not been misled by recent misstatements and that she had decided to abstain from further wars of words with her former employers. She did not want any more trouble with the law. She really needed their help. If they would.

2009-09-24T10:26:00.001-04:00

She did not care how much he would laugh at her for being gullible.

She would never be a sicko like him.

2009-09-24T10:25:00.002-04:00

The proof was there, and since it was public,

IT COULD NOT EVER BE ERASED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-09-24T10:18:00.002-04:00

She had thought she knew all the nasty, dirty filth that she needed to. But this simply fell into her lap like the telegraph one never wants to receive. She 'guessed' the most jealous person was also the most angry. He had never gotten over her dumping him all those years ago. Now, he was jealous that though it took her a lot longer than most to get through school, she was doing alright. He still thought he could mess things up for her. Heck, she was 'easy' mentally, so trusting. At least she used to be. She had changed. But why follow her daughter online? Was he hoping the daughter would struggle like her mother, so he could sit back and watch? Or did he have even uglier intentions...

2009-09-24T09:48:00.003-04:00

BR-ex,

20 years of seeing a friend

like the girl you 'guess' is 18,

now you are a fan of hers, too.

Psycho or Sicko?

WOW!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-09-23T22:18:00.004-04:00

Side to side
along the court,
chasing slices,
back and forth,
sprinting for drops,
watching winners fly by,
the mixed scents of summertime
grass and sweat
a mild distraction,
but I focus on hitting it over the net.

2009-09-23T22:03:00.002-04:00

Maybe I was born yesterday,
but I was reminded today
of a Triple Good ad I read a few months ago.
The man was saying what a special day
to hold a newborn and look into its eyes.
What faith!
Tell me, tell me what precious souls
to care so for the trust and love
a newborn can give.
What sacrament!
That the world should be overrun
by such communities
to be our example of the sanctity of kinship.
I am certain there awaits a special place
for such as they.
The great poets must surely lavish
generous heaps of praise upon their heads.

2009-09-23T15:13:00.002-04:00

Woke up from a dream late Saturday night, or maybe it was very early Sunday morning. Anyway, I had this song in my head. Hadn't listened to it in a while, but Bruce is always a good listen.

2009-09-23T15:02:00.003-04:00

1.

A roaring flash from the clearest skies
smote you to the ground.
Fear you had never known
toppled the boyhood 'king of the mountain.'
Home expects you to remain the same
you have always been.
Walking around with others,
they say they understand,
but they cannot,
and you live with this thing
that seems best killed
or at least tamed
by compassion.

2.

I walk clumsily in your shoes now,
Doubt I can fill them,
But I step high and carry their weight,

I step high

carry the weight

Others cannot see my invisible giants
dragging under me,
pulling at my legs, making me stronger

pulling at my legs

making me stronger

Others walk ahead,
call back to me,
refuse to wait, extend their hands

refuse to wait

extend their hands

2009-09-23T14:46:00.005-04:00

The secret had to unfold,
she knew,
since they thought she told
an untruth,
had already gone back
on her word,
fell off the track,
"she's absurd."
In the capital of "food processing"
where many for more than fun are pressing,
she did not want to fit
another statistic --
in the also capital of "I'm sharing our lunch with someone else so our 'contract' is void."
To play,
but not that way, ha HA!
That messy, dirty business
is not
what she meant to express
another thought.
Not another thought of talking
or emailing with him,
never again.
Keep walking...
The right person knew
what she meant,
read all of the hints,
got the point of view.
Thx.

Eight Inch Figurine

2009-09-23T00:04:00.002-04:00

Few knew*
the broken doll,
the blond girl,
head still in one piece,
pink smile,
spring bouquet
poised porcelain,
her cornflower blue dress.
Alone on the wall,
she observed
four of them
from her pedestal.
Testosterone
blasted through the screen,
possessed his body.
The demon foot lifted,
sent its force upward,
crashing,
obliterating her presence.
The demon fled the room.

*Actual event that was not funny at the time. The doll had sentimental value, and the demon-possessed person was genuinely sorry. But the look on everyone's face is everlastingly funny!

2009-09-22T23:08:00.006-04:00

Lying near me,
not completely asleep,
quietly breathing,
waiting for me to hold you.
You cannot breathe deep
unless I hold you.
In the morning,
you will want to wake me,
but you will leave me quietly,
completely asleep,
to wake later and find myself
buried under the covers
where you lay.

2009-09-22T22:55:00.007-04:00

I tried to fix a misunderstanding by posting a poem about the broken doll. Sigh. It was very innocent, lol, and literal.

2009-09-22T21:12:00.001-04:00

Twenty seconds to reflect.
The past looks nothing like I thought it would
The present not like I dreamed,
But near my assumption.
The dreams I used to dream
Not the plans that I make.
Mostly not.
A few cling desperately to my hopeful inner child,
An all but faded caricature on a coloring book page.
“Do not leave us!” they cry.
“We will die if you let us go!”
Tears flow in rainbow rivets
Leaving pigmented footprints just beneath the ripples.
Life springs eternal, but dreams live or die
In a constant battle of circumstance and will.
Twenty seconds to confirm or reject
The notion that life is what we make of it.
Is life what we make of it,
Or does life make us?
The ones who like Lewis rose to the top,
Then saw the other impossible mountains to cross,
Sat down and cried.
Did his heart or his team force him forward?
Or was it the mountain already behind him?
Was it will,
Or was it circumstance?
Many mountains he crossed with his brothers…
Alone at the end.
Twenty seconds to rejoice
The small things,
The taken for granted things,
The big things that come ever so often,
The surprises…
The shared…
The solitude...
The living of life.
Twenty seconds is twenty more than we had before,
Cannot be relived, respent, reserved for the future.
Twenty seconds…

2009-09-22T17:16:00.007-04:00

Oh yeah, part of the game is being misunderstood...

2009-09-22T10:28:00.003-04:00

Will she ,won't she
tell us what she knows?
I do not care
what gossip blows.
Just give her a reason
not to hide,
not to hide her trust.
Never wanted to share,
so why are you scared?
I think she thinks
of other stuff,
lots of other stuff
that would get on your nerves.
Is she listening, eavesdropping?
She said she would follow them,
but was that just her defense?
I bet she knew it would make
no difference after all.
After all,
no one likes to hear the howls,
the pounding feet of chase,
though some mad souls pursue
an endless race.
Would she be on our side?
I know for a fact
she is loyal to strengthening values,
to values that cannot be bought
with money
but with the heart,
the soul.
She is loyal to freedom of the mind,
to err, to learn,
to face the truth of imperfection,
of regret, of rising above.
She is loyal to understanding,
to forgiving even when it hurts like hell
to let go of the pain.
Does she think she is better than we are?
What do you think?
Her mistakes made waves,
exposed weaknesses in herself,
not just in others,
showed her ignorance.
She lacks what others have,
community,
knowledge,
communication skills.
I think she is simply there, now,
not helping others so much,
not trusting others so much,
not fighting so much the things
she could not see.
The things she could not see,
like the whale.
No, perhaps she was fighting
the man in the boat.

2009-09-22T10:25:00.002-04:00

, Navigation:
the key I can never find
my way from here to where you are
calling me
friend
I miss you, too.

2009-09-22T08:07:00.002-04:00

Suicide notes,

cutesy totes,

faces to the walls,

painted smiles,

experimental trials,

a chick with bowling balls.

painful stares,

childish scares,

erotic offering plates,

a bully's fist,

truth in the mist,

what jealousy creates.

lined pockets,

assassins' rockets,

an expedition to Mars,

jobs for twat,

values are squat,

More internet wars.

Mind control,

spiritual toll,

battles for the soul,

Freedom rings,

truth ugly sings,

A ton of shit to roll.

Friendship patches,

securing latches,

unsettling undertones,

Cleansing guilt,

New homes are built,

New scars adorn our bones.

2009-09-22T07:59:00.003-04:00

If I had listened to my mother,
I would not have seen a leprechaun,
Would have put aside some blueberries
had I listened to the ice cream man,
Would not have chased unicorns
if I listened to the news,
So it hurts that there were few
who did that for me, too,
But that was yesterday.

Guitar Art 5, First Published work with acrylics or canvas

2009-09-20T14:55:00.006-04:00

Undercover Model

2009-09-20T14:37:00.003-04:00

Tribute to Jimi

2009-09-18T18:45:00.005-04:00

Jimi Hendrix died September 18, 1970. Could he have gotten much better?

How Not To and How To

2009-09-18T15:09:00.005-04:00

The guy had never met the other dude but had tried to steal his girlfriend. After school, the dude and his friends jumped him from behind and beat him so bad he ended up in the hospital. The beaten teenager lay in traction for weeks. When the others got out of jail and finally went to see him, it was not to call a truce. It was to demand an apology. The laid up guy wondered why his punishment was not enough. Thought to ask why the other had reacted so violently. But he already knew the answer. Hurting him had not done anything to ease the dude's pain. He still wanted an apology.

The guy considered his blood transfusion and broken limbs. He pondered his own situation. What would happen if he went after the guys his own girlfriend had been messing around with the way this guy had come after him? Sure, he blamed those guys, though not as much as he blamed her. Some were friends of his. A couple were very close friends, and verbally trashing one of the dudes had made him feel better only briefly. The pain was still there.

He had tried to finally take off the rose-colored glasses where she was concerned. He threatened to break up, but she would cry and beg him not to, professing innocence until he reached his breaking point. Then she would claim to be a changed person. This last time, when she came to visit him in the hospital, he thought their relationship might have a shot.

He should not have messed with this dude’s chick, but at the time he thought they were both experiencing breakups. The guy knew how the other felt, though. Probably worried his chick would continue doing the same things she had been doing. Both chicks thought they were getting by with stuff. Maybe they had. But not everything.

The guy asked everyone to leave except for the one. He wasn’t sure an apology would be good enough. Yet he understood the other really needed some peace. He looked up from his bed and said “Look, I’m sorry, dude. No excuses, no double talk. I’m really sorry that I hurt you.” He was surprised to discover that he suddenly felt a lot better. He didn't know whether the other could tell, but he hoped the dude knew that he meant it.

2009-09-18T07:30:00.002-04:00

A dream of dreams,
unusual polarization,
new meaning,
confused interpretations to unravel,
abject frustrations,
prostrate remediations,
unintended ramifications,
diamond-cut gold chunks
spinning like tops,
skyscrapers amaze an atom.

Gonna Party Like It's My Birthday!

2009-09-18T00:01:00.000-04:00

2009-09-17T22:59:00.003-04:00

Her past apologies,

her explanations ignored.

The scarlet woman understood

some would always feel

________________insecure

even though she had refused

____________________to sip their wines.

Their children to feed,

their bills to pay immobilized them.

The sacrificial woman knew

they were still

_________afraid

of the isolation that could visit

_____________________their sunlit rooms.

2009-09-17T15:16:00.006-04:00

Grandmothers, mothers, sisters, aunts,
thank you for wrapping your quilt
around my shoulders,
for remembering I am alive.
When the heart is comforted,
the mind is free to remember
colors of the rainbow,
clouds of hope.
Unconditional love,
a prize no one can steal,
a cure-all for the torn spirit.
Your words have value,
like an eagle they carry me
over mountains, rivers.
I listen and learn.

2009-09-17T14:11:00.002-04:00

Unsurprised that her gift was twisted,
Her attempt to make peace
with a few innocent,
or less guity
of her time in hell,
did not make it fake,
did not make it less painful,
did not make what the rest did okay,
but it was her nature
to forgive,
to let others make mistakes, too,
to try to learn from each other,
to support each other,
always,
and there would be those
who would claim
that none meant harm.
That there were so many like her,
unsung warriors,
brave survivors,
poor souls lost in the fight,
they were the proof.
Would they also claim
that in other acts of genocide
there were none who spoke
from the sides of their mouths,
moved their lips,
to try to save others?
Would they also twist the words
to add themselves to the small group
who felt helpless,
frozen,
guilty for not doing more?
They would,
it was in their nature,
in their soul
to not accept responsibility,
to try to crawl under the blanket
of comfort that was not meant for them,
for their vileness.
And everyone,
even themselves,
knew it.
She almost did not reach out
to those few,
knowing this,
but she knew that they would always be
pirahnas
jackals
buzzards
cowards
waiting for her to say something they could use
to slough their filth,
but they only glisten the mud.

2009-09-17T13:23:00.005-04:00

He would never speak
with her
______again.

Her eyes opened,
she gave him one last chance to be

_________________________decent.

He thought he would pull from her
what no one knew,
he would control,
____________manipulate.

He was not who he
______________seemed,
______________________and would never be.

She debated whether to tell
his statement
_________in context.

Then she let slip the mirage
___________________that was him.

2009-09-17T11:32:00.003-04:00

She could not help but love them,
Though their fear kept them bound.
She understood the nightmare,
Cold, hungry winter,
But she saw that seasons
continued to change.

2009-09-17T11:15:00.001-04:00

He misunderstood.
She owed him nothing,
Not for being dragged kicking,
Screaming into their world.
No contact,
Not allowed.
There,
at the top of the upside down pyramid,
the hell where “poor and happy” are crushed,
He chose the road that splits souls,
Turns love against friendship,
Breaks bonds.
She had been mistaken.
What she thought was a bogus ticket to heaven
Was in reality an instruction manual,
“Bike Trail Navigation”

2009-09-17T01:00:00.005-04:00

No.

According to the lever, nothing in the kitchen was level. The master carpenter had not inspected the finished product of his workers. The woman had paid a lot, a lot of money for top quality handiwork. Something was not right.

Lluvia's Bedtime Stories 1

2009-09-16T22:35:00.007-04:00

Some people wanted to be her friend but didn’t know how. She knew more about how they thought than they knew about how she thought. Or so she thought.

Anyway, not thrilled at the idea of opening her chest cavity just so everyone who wanted to could throw more daggers, she decided to believe that maybe they, like her, had learned some things about life.

Actually, she changed her mind. But then she realized that some of them had tried to call her. She had taken her phone off the hook. They pissed her off by telling her to mind her own business – after they had nose-dived into hers.

Still, they seemed to be willing to meet her half way. There were some things that they needed to know. Life did not wait for her to catch up. It left her behind, waited for nearly 40 years, and then viciously grabbed her and did not let go.

She decided to tell them stories.

Story #1

Imagine a boy who always made good grades but never quite fit in. He had a quirky sense of humor, but he got laughed at for not getting jokes. His joke comprehension did improve over the years. Slightly.

He remembered nearly every conversation, every gesture and facial expression, even knowing glances and exchanges between other people right in front of him. No one thought anything would come of his ability.

One day, he made a mistake. Some people were going to ruin his life. Fine. He would take them down with him. He did not know there was a joke.

By the time he figured out the joke, everyone and everything had gotten out of hand, even him. When he realized that he could understand when they spoke, every file began falling from the ceiling in his head. A raining jigsaw puzzle crashed like boulders that dropped with a cloud of debris just below an invisible surface, piecing itself together, not on the floor but in a plane that sloped in one direction but really in another direction. And then it made a sphere with all the pieces strung together inside.

And then it exploded.

He had to figure out which parts of the puzzle were actual pieces and throw out the junk that his closest friends and relatives had tossed in.

He still has trouble with jokes. And he still has his ability to remember stuff. And he knows the difference between real friends joking and fake friends joking. Sometimes. So he hoped his real friends would not leave him hanging ever again.

Story #2

There was this teenage girl. Everyone liked her. They thought she was cool. She thought everyone else was cool. She did not realize that her matter of fact statements sometimes sounded like put downs. That cost her some friends.

Story #7

A daisy grew by the sidewalk. She loved the glorious rose bushes, but they hated her. They did not see that the gardener paid them all his attention. He always walked past the daisy without a glance.

Story #8

Once there was a nearly 40 year-old ostrich who, except for the existence of a few assholes in the world, thought that life was even odder and more hysterical than she had known. She pulled her head out of the earth, shook off the dirt, and ran to shake her tail feathers with the rest of the bootiful birds.

Story #13

There once was a truly weird chick
Whose friends played a truly dumb trick
They all showed their ass (the chick, too)
None of their class
But the swine flu did not make them sick

Story #9

Once there was a group of lady co-workers who thought a jewel thief was on the loose. They got together and decided that it must be the woman who never wore jewelry. Since she did not have any, she must want theirs. When they realized she meant to purchase her own ring, they all had a big laugh. She, on one hand, was glad that she would not have to get a manicure just so her hands would look good enough for such expensive jewelry. They, on the other hand, didn’t know who should be more embarrassed: themselves for making such a fuss, or her for not having the world’s most beautiful hands. After a couple of margaritas away from work, none of them cared.

Story #3

A young man, 21, decided to find his father who he had not seen for 15 years. He had seen the name of his father’s birthplace on the hospital certificate. He got lucky. The operator gave him the number of his father’s only relative who still lived there.

For seventeen years, the young man was grateful to merely be a part of the family. He asked them for money once to fix the car heater. This was only so his children would not suffer on the six hour trip to visit them. They sent the money and told him that he did not have to pay it back. He was appreciative since the divorce had hurt his finances.

The second time he asked for help -

Story #4

Once upon a time, a naïve whore asked her pimps to explain why they kept giving her johns since she was really a long-haired seamstress. They threw her in jail.

Story #5

Peter, Peter, Pumpkin Eater
Had a wife, forgot to feed her
Left her in the pumpkin shell
Her magic window had lots to tell
Peter tries to make amends
In hopes his married tale won’t end

Story #6

Once there was a little girl who talked with sprites and fairies. She loved them better than anything. Some nasty trolls were jealous. They locked her in the dungeon. She escaped and set out to find her friends.

Story #11

There once was a chick with a ‘tude
Who fought like hell with a dude
When it was done
She missed the fun
But hated cafeteria food

Story #10

A girl who looked like a boy (but not quite) started playing poker. She was not old enough to play poker, but she beat everyone at the table. She did not take their money. Instead, she tried to talk to them. She had never watched the Texas Hold ‘Em tournaments on tv to know that poker players don’t talk. They told her the scariest stories. When that did not shut her up, they started smacking her. Hard. They were really bad guys disguised as gentlemen. She stopped talking to them and showed them the finger.

Story #12

There once was a son of a bloke
Who liked to play lots of jokes
He better know how to take it
Or learn real fast how to fake it
Or she’ll send him up in smoke

Story #14

They had done the worst they could do to her, and she knew that although there was some true power playing higher up, a lot of it was just stupid mind games. They did not want any more of her canned goods. (Whup Ass Brand) So now that she knew this, since they had embarrassed her more than she could ever be embarrassed again, and she them, she did not see any reason to not have fun in life.

=)

2009-09-15T22:33:00.000-04:00